No more starting over

And I find myself here on my knees again, caught up in grace like an avalanche.

Hillsong United, Avalanche

No more tears. No more crying because I keep making the same mistake. No more doubt and self-flagellation.

Or that's the idea, at least.

The trouble is that change is a painstakingly slow process. We tend to believe that the decision to do or be something is the most difficult step. I really don't think so. Maybe it is the first step, but it is not hardest. The hardest step is the one that comes right after you fall down. Again. And again.

No, friends, deciding something does not make it so, but I persist in thinking so. So when the conviction fades and the past rears up again, when I stumble and fall, I begin to wonder if I really decided to be different. Maybe my conviction wasn't strong enough. Maybe if I just really committed, this time I would get it right.

It is painful, even devastating to doubt the sincerity of your convictions. It makes you feel like you cannot trust anything. Nothing can be sure.

That's a lie. It's a lie that curses you to an eternity of "starting over." The truth is that even the most sincere convictions can be followed by mistakes and relapses. This does not mean the conviction was false, it means you are imperfect. Accept your imperfections (she said to herself). Love them because the empty spaces are what make room for grace.

I read something beautiful over at A Deeper Story today:

Do not be afraid when unforgiveness rears its ugly head, after you’ve “decided to forgive.”  

It does come back, it will come back. And it will come back as a little lie in your head that tells you that you didn’t really forgive, you don’t have to, you don’t want to, or you can’t. 

And when that lie comes, fight back with Jesus’ forgiveness and grace. We cannot fight lies on our own, for we are not authors of truth. We cannot fight unforgiveness on our own, for we are not bearers of undeserving gifts.

read more

Lies are fiery darts of the enemy. We don't fend against them by growing fireproof skin, but we deflect them with a shield. Ephesians six calls it a "shield of faith," and lies cannot pierce through faith.

So when God tells you that He is making you new, believe Him.

Trust Curveball Redux

Exactly one year ago, my nine month old nephew, Isaiah, was at Sacred Heart Children's hospital in Spokane in kidney failure. He was on 24 hour dialysis, and had about seven different tubes leading in and out of his 20 pound body and his best hope was a non-FDA approved test drug that cost $2500 a dose. The 5 weeks in the hospital put him behind developmentally and he had to go to three different types of therapy every week.

Today his AHUS is in complete remission, his bimonthly treatments are FDA approved and also covered by insurance. He's a healthy, happy, walking and talking 21 month old.

Read about Isaiah's initial hospitalization here: Trust: A Curveball

One Word 2011: Review

Last January, as a follow to choosing One Word 2011: Trust, I went through a series of posts about what that meant in the present and what I thought it meant for the future. These posts ruminated through a variety of different subjects (money, culture, insecurity, depression, vision).

It was a haphazard mix of things that God was turning over in my soul, observations about the world, and things that scared the crap out of me. But in every area, God was asking me the same questions: "Do you trust the call I put on your life? Do you trust me to take you somewhere new?"

This culminated in a list of "I am going to," statements. Looking back, I think these are too much like the resolutions that I am trying so hard to avoid, so I'm not going to repeat this practice this year. But, because God deserves mad props for this, here is the best one:

"I am going back to Haiti."

Of all of my "I am going to," statements, this is one that I actually believe was a promise from God. He made me this promise in January. In July, I was invited to visit Haiti with Compassion International...with 3 weeks to raise $1500. By September, God had completely funded my trip and plane tickets with $700 to spare, and, on November 14th, I was in Haiti.

Tomorrow, I am going to share some thoughts about the upcoming year and One Word 2012: Surrender.

Links to last year's posts are below (each post links to the following post).

The Highlights
I'm Not THAT Person
Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
A Culture of Affluence
A Curveball
What's Your Angle? Part One
What's Your Angle? Part Two
Continuing the Journey

One Word 2012

The last hours of 2011 are whispering by, are you still thinking about your One Word? I suspect I have found mine though it needs a bit more time to cook. 

I'll give you a few options:

• Humility
• Commit
• Surrender

These are all, in some way, built off of One Word 2011, Trust, a work that is in no way complete. I've wondered if it is necessary for each Word to build off of the ones before it, if it is a reflection of my AR tendencies or simply a natural product of a progressive life. What do you think? Do your words build on one another?

Each of these words also represent a fairly significant work in me at the present, but I'm not sure if that is something that will carry through for the whole year. Hmm.

What are some of your options?

One Word 2012

Believe it or not, the final grains of the 2011 hourglass are slipping away. As anticipation builds for new beginnings in 2012 and, of course, the end of the world, I am very happy to kick off the search for One Word 2012!

But, what is this thing you speak of, Sarah? One Word is an alternative to the traditional New Year's Resolution. Instead of making a doomed declaration of all the things you're (not) going to do in the upcoming year, you choose a one-word theme for the year.

Feel free to poke around in the One Word posts of yore here.

This idea was inspired by a conversation between Dan Britton, Executive Vice President of Ministry Programs for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and one of his close friends during a car drive (I'm convinced that the atmosphere inside of a car is a powerful and mysterious catalyst for inspiration). I originally read about it on the blog for Compassion International. You can read Dan's full description here, but let me just give you the highlights.

The idea is to spend a good piece of time reflecting about your life and praying for vision about the upcoming year. Then, with more prayer and reflection, you attempt to distill that idea to a single word. Just one word, not a sentence or phrase, and no hyphens allowed. Narrowing down the theme of an entire year to one word can be incredibly difficult and frustrating, I promise you that it is worth the effort.

See, the more words you use to describe your theme, the greater the odds that your vision is too narrow. For example, you could say that, in 2012, God is going to teach you have to have a better work ethic and to give 100% at your job. But that focuses too tightly on a single point of your life, much like a New Year's resolution, putting God on a leash. You see, you think that you just need to learn to work harder while God wants to show you a much bigger truth about joy and contentment.

Obviously, God is not going to be limited by your short leash, but, by being to so specific, you risk blinding yourself to the greater work that He is doing. And, believe me, you won't want to miss it.

For example, in 2011, my word was "trust." I thought that "trust" had to do with taking risks with my career and my future, but God wanted to show me a much richer, more intimate truths about his trustworthiness. I had no idea the things that God was turn over in my life or the promises that He would make to me. But more on that another day!

I love doing this every year and I really hope you'll do it with me!

You Can't Always Get What you Want

"...but if you try, sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need."

I recently had a conversation with a wonderful woman that took an unexpected turn.


I love women. I love the fellowship of sisters in Christ; It's one of the most beautiful things about the church. This woman is someone I've known and admired since I was 12 years old. Even so we've never really been personal friends. 

So honestly, when I discovered she was involved in a program through her church with Compassion International that I wanted to know more about, I was secretly excited to have an excuse to just hang out with her.

I met her at the church after months of email-tag. We sat on a couch in the foyer and she asked, "So, what did you want to know?"

I had hastily pulled together some relevant questions about the church partnership and her involvement, but, without my permission, the conversation quickly turned personal. I found myself pouring out the tale of my confusing meandering journey to find my place in God's kingdom. My emotional and spiritual struggles. She  the story of being the answer to the prayers of a woman in El Salvador. Of experiencing death, illness, fear and God's amazing faithfulness. She encouraged me in my study of the bible with an enthusiasm that sparkled with genuine delight in God's word.


I tried a few times to pull the conversation back to the ministry I had been curious about, but I realized as the conversation kept turning back to my personal struggles and desires in my own relationship, that God doesn't allow us to step into a vacuum when we put on our ministry hat.


I admit am uncomfortable with that. I would rather put on my ministry persona and take it off when I go home. I would rather not have ministry bleed into "my" time, draw on my emotions, or highlight my personal weaknesses. But that's not the way it works. 

God exists in relationships, not in projects, and relationships require personal contact. Ministry is as personal as your own body; you touch people with your own skin and occasionally catch their diseases. People see parts of you that you want to hide and their pain becomes your pain. It is a costly thing to serve others as Jesus did because things get personal.

But the beautiful thing is that, difficult as they are, relationships are God's workspace. Despite losing control of the conversation, I was wonderfully blessed that day; I grew in my relationship with my friend, I was able to be loving to her, and she encouraged me so much more than I could have hoped.



I walked away from that conversation knowing that it was not what I wanted but it was exactly what I needed.

Elbow Deep Relationships

"Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some but encouraging one another," Hebrews 1-:24-25

I've been part of an amazing small group over this past year, but as relationships deepen and God continues to work on this area of Trust in my life I'm realizing that the concept of fellowship has been cheapened a bit, at least in my experience, to just mean any social event. Really, fellowship is a deeper interaction, an "elbow-deep" relationship. That kind of relationship involves incredibly trust, faithfulness, vulnerability and real selfless love and it has been a difficult challenge for me. 

Believe me, it is well worth it.

This post originally appeared in September, 2010 as Fellowship: Beyond Potlucks

"You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence." Psalm 90:8

"But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:7

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed." James 5:16

There is no place in the body of Christ (the collection of His followers) for sin. To be sure, it exists abundantly because we're all sinners, but wherever sin exists in our fellowship, His Spirit is blocked.

This is where a lot of confusion exists in regard to sin and grace. Obviously Christians are still sinners. It is so obvious, in fact, that those who are not Christians become absolutely incensed when they believe a Christian or group of Christians denies this fact.

Forgiveness allows us to become Christians while we are yet sinners, but grace compels us to not remain in our sin. But forgiveness and grace are only effective on sin when it is exposed or "in His light." This requires the most dreaded of words to Christians and nonchristians alike: "confession."

We Protestant Christians get a little touchy when it comes to confession, "why go through a priest when you can go directly to God? I don't need no priest to tell me I'm absolved!" Well maybe, but without the physical act of confession to another human, will you go to God? Will you be able to hear his voice when you're filled with pride or shame? Are we not to bear each others burdens?

There are no secrets with God (take the book back to Barnes & Noble and ask for your money back). A secret is simply something that remains in darkness and, as we read in 1 John, there is no darkness in Christ. This aversion, this fear of confessing our sins to one another blocks much of the healing that God promises for sin. We may be forgiven in truth but will we truly be able to receive that healing when our sin is still a secret?

Beyond healing, 1 John 1:7 also says that fellowship happens when we walk in the light, His light. I don't see how this is possible without confessing our sins to one another as it says in James 5.

If there is one thing that truly threatens the existence of Christ's church, I believe it is not secular humanism, it is not the theory of evolution, it is not gay marriage, neither is it even sin, it is an inability or outright refusal to confess our sins to one another. Hypocrisy and secret sin are the cancer of His church, a mass of darkness growing secretly deep within the body destroying it from the inside out.

It is not enough that we hang out together on sundays, that we have cookouts, that we have bible studies, thats we pray for our sicknesses, we must walk together in His light, confessing our sins to one another and praying for each other, bearing one another's burdens in Christ. Without this our fellowship is shallow, counterfeit even, and we create a fertile place for hypocrisy.

BUT, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our suns and cleanse us from all unrighteousness!

Stories: Here's Your New Life

Back in January, I talked about my nephew Isaiah and his diagnosis with Atypical Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome. This is a short story I created for a journalism assignment that gives you a glimpse into everything that happened.

I have to give very big credit to my sister-in-law, Heather, for being such a huge part of this process and sharing her story with me so freely. I hope that, in 2 minutes and 44 seconds, you can get just a small impression of her incredible faith and strength. I can't wait to share more of the story with you all.

Here's Your New Life

I apologize, I am not able to embed the slideshow at this time.

Further reading on Atypical Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome:

• The Foundation for Children with Atypical HUS
• Hemolyticuremicsyndrome-hus.com
• The Atypical HUS Website

Faithfulness vs Fame

When they found Him, they said to Him, “Everyone is looking for You.” Mark 1:37

Things were going really well for Jesus at this point. He had just received public, voice-from-the-sky approval directly from God and overcome a serious “wilderness” experience. People were in awe of him and demons were fleeing before him. He was becoming incredibly famous throughout the area and now Simon is telling Him that people are literally hunting him down in order to hear his message.

Things were fresh, dynamic, and effective, everything that we like ministry to be. But then Jesus says something that just blows the top of my head off:

But He said to them, “Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also, because for this purpose I have come forth.” Mark 1:38

What? Jesus, this is an incredibly fruitful ministry that you have with these people. They love you, why would you leave?

In saying this Jesus not only makes a statement about His own purpose, but also establishes two important principles for ministry: 1) Our purpose is definite and we cannot abandon or change it or with our circumstances change; and 2) the success of a ministry is not necessarily dependent on its popularity.

Jesus came to preach His message to the world, not to become famous or to receive approval. Even though his ministry to the people of this area was effective and productive, He couldn’t forget why He came or change His purpose. When God gives us a ministry, we cannot simply abandon or change that ministry to suit our circumstances. God, not the terrain, sets our course. The standard for success has less to do with results than it does with faithfulness. While this is important to remember in difficult circumstances, it is also true when things are going well.

Let’s say you are a farmer on your way to town sell some chickens and along the way you see this lush, fertile field. Well you can’t just abandon your plan and stop to plant this field because it’s a great opportunity; your chickens will go all Animal Farm and peck each other to death. And then they’re coming after you.

Maybe that’s not the best analogy. If I was on my way to the chicken market and happened to see a fertile field, my first thought wouldn’t be, “I wanna plant that field!” It would be, “Why the heck am I a chicken farmer?”

Here’s another one. Let’s say you are a student pursuing a degree in electrical engineering but you’ve been playing some bluegrass on the side. Then, Ellen happens to see your video on YouTube and offers you a record deal (yeah, she has one now). While you may be able to justify abandoning your plans to become an electrical engineer, if your parents are paying your tuition they get to weigh in on the idea.

You are not able to change your plans arbitrarily if someone else is paying the bill. It’s a somewhat cold example, but bear with me. Every gift God gives us, every experience we receive is His investment in us. He grooms us for a specific purpose. As if that were not enough, He even places His own Spirit in us. That kind of investment gives Him the right to define both our ministry and the standard for our success. That often means a fresh, dynamic, and effective ministry but not always

It’s a subtle distinction but an important one.

Faithfulness, not fame.

--Sarah Elizabeth

Vocabulary Lesson

I learned a new term last week:

"soft market"

Basically, this refers to a market that has more sellers than buyers. In Econ 101 this translates to "lower prices." Awesome if you're looking for good deal on a used bike, somewhat less awesome if you're trying to sell a house.

After a brief meeting with my realtor on Thursday, I texted my friend Leah:

"God's setting me up to be humbled..."

I say this with a wry smile on my face because, though I know that He's going to prove me wrong, I still can't change my heart.

Yet, it also excites me just a little to know that this is something I would never have believed four years ago. This does not mean that, four years ago, I wouldn't have welcomed the surprise provision of the Lord, but rather that I could not have admitted that I didn't trust him.

Growth

Sometimes it’s painfully slow. Sometimes we move sideways before we move forward. Sometimes we have to be broken down before we are built up again.

Four years ago, even one year ago, I would have told you that I was exactly where God wanted me to be, that I was happy in that place. But the truth is that God had called me to higher ground and I was afraid. I didn’t see how I could walk to that place without stumbling or failing outright. So I stopped walking on His path. I started laying out my own side paths along the leveler ground.

I bought a house.

I walked into a situation, led by my fear and pride rather than the Lord. But this is one situation I cannot control; God has to perform a little real estate miracle and that puts me in an uncomfortable position.

I have to trust Him.

Ah trust, remember that one?

God lays a path and He shows us the steps to take, but only He can give us the grace to walk. When our path starts going uphill, we have two options. We can start walking, knowing our strength will fail, or we can decide that we’re satisfied with less than God’s plan.

Four years ago, I chose the second option. I chose to accept less rather than give God permission to disappoint me or even humble me.

For the first time in my life, I see the insufficiency of my strength…but I’m walking.

And that’s exciting.

So...wanna buy a house?

--Sarah Elizabeth

Patience and Perfection

But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:4 NKJV

I have trouble finishing things; I am a natural born quitter. I dont just mean I'm a quitter when things get difficult, I quit when things get moderately uninteresting.

So you can imagine how easy it would be for me to say, "God, you know this Trust thing? Well I think I'm done. Thanks anyway, though!"

"Do you ever just want to walk out of your life?" I asked a friend.

But there is a snag that we find in this verse in James. God makes us a promise here: that, if we will simply let patience exist in us, an amazing thing will happen:

We will be complete. Whole. Perfect.

(That's pretty good incentive.)

The part I find fascinating is that it is the act of being patient that will work a miracle in us. Wholeness is a natural product of patience. I am reminded of the miracle of a baby.

A pregnant woman does not need to struggle every day to knit together the little human inside of her, she simply allows the natural process to take place. It certainly affects her in strange, sometimes scary, and often uncomfortable ways, but if she will simply allow the natural process to have its perfect work in her, a perfect little child is the natural result.

Defects and problems happen when something hampers the process, either by the choice of the mother, sickness, an accident, or by a sad chance of genetics. But the intended, natural product of pregnancy is a healthy baby.

Likewise, the offspring of patience is wholeness.

So my desperate prayer is that I would not abort the process of patience in my life, that no accident or weakness in me would prevent the birth of wholeness and perfection in my life. Like an uncomfortable, nauseated, and exhausted mother (am I being overly dramatic here?), I can feel the effects of the thing growing inside me.

But quitting would be a tragedy.

So I hold on to that promise and I pray you would to. Because the One who plants the seed of perfection in us is not a quitter.

--Sarah Elizabeth

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Bring it On

Sometimes I don't like God very much.

I used to think it was just that I didn't like the Old Testament God, that God of the law full of wrath and judgment, and that I preferred the meek and mild New Testament Jesus who would grow up, heal the sick, forgive sinners and die on a cross for me.

OT God does things that I don't understand, like hardening the heart of Pharaoh:

And the Lord said to Moses, "When you go back to Egypt, see that you do all those wonders before Pharaoh which I have put in your hand. But I will harden his heart, so that he will not let the people go. Ex 4:21 

This passage has plagued me for ages. Like the testing of Job, it reveals an aspect of God that I cannot understand that, frankly, just seems kind of mean. Don't sit there talking about "context" and the mysteriousness or sovereignty of God, pretending you don't agree with me. This isn't like the predestined for salvation brain teaser game we often play, arguing that God "foreknew" who would choose salvation. God is not like Biff Tannin and his ill-gotten sports almanac, simply betting the ones He knew would choose Him anyway. God takes ownership of Pharaoh's hard heart.

We can maybe forgive God for the Pharaoh incident because, let's face it, Pharaoh wasn't exactly a saint. He made slaves of God's Beloved and he did not fear God to begin with. Job we may have a tougher time with because he was one of the good guys. But, since it was actually Satan doing the afflicting and everything turned out alright for Job in the end, we can still get over it.

It’s God's unapologetic manner that we choke on.

Who is this who darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Now prepare yourself like a man; I will question you and you shall answer Me...Would you indeed annul My judgment? Would you condemn Me that you may be justified? Job 38:2-3, 40:8

"For the Scripture says to the Pharaoh, "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth." Therefore He has mercy on whom He wills, and whom He wills He hardens. You will say to me then "Why does He still find fault? For who has resisted His will?" But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, "Why have you made me like this?"  Romans 9:17-22

Okay, OT God is kind of a jerk. It's a good thing I live in the NT Jesus era, right?

Not right. 

And the disciples came and said to Him "Why do you speak to them in parables?" He answered and said to them, "Because it has been given to you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. For whoever has, to him more will be given, and he will have abundance; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him. Therefore I speak to them in parables because seeing they do not see and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. and in them the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled, which says: 'Hearing you will hear and shall not understand, and seeing you will see and not perceive; for the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing and their eyes they have closed lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, lest they should understand with their hearts and turn so that I should heal them'" Mt 13:10-15

For I say to you, that to everyone who has will be given; and from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him, Luke 19:26

Hold up, how did OT God's words find their way into the mouth of the sweet baby Jesus?

I made what was probably a bad joke earlier about bible scholars using "context" as an excuse for God's actions. Let me dig myself out a little bit by saying context really does matter. Scholarly exegesis does shine some light on the actions of God in these passages and that light can also bring us some peace, so please don't think that I really don't respect these things.

My point here is that both Old-Covenant-Jehovah and Jesus-the-Christ say some things that are really difficult. These passages reveal a side of God that challenges our understanding of God's justice and purpose and God makes no apology for them. He does not wish us to coat these passages with some chocolately verses on grace to hide the bitter taste. Neither does He want us to grit our teeth like a martyr and swallow the nasty pill. He wants us to truly know every aspect of Him and to love Him more for knowing.

I have to make a confession at this point: I am not in a very faithful frame of mind. The past few months have not been the most exemplary of my Jesus-career. I have questioned God extensively about my life and why the desires He's placed in my heart continue to exist outside of my grasp. At the beginning of the year I agreed to go on a journey with God toward trusting Him more but I haven't taken the first few steps of that journey with grace. But I also believe that, because I do not currently have a rosy attitude toward God, these lessons will be richer and more meaningful.

So I'll admit, sometimes, especially now, I don't particularly like God. I don't like these passages. But there is one more that I want to share that has brought me a bit of peace.

Then the Lord said to Moses, "Rise early in the morning and stand before Pharaoh, and say to him, 'Thus says the Lord God of the Hebrews: "...if I had stretched out My hand and struck you and your people with pestilence, then you would have been cut off from the earth.”But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth. As yet you exalt yourself against My people in that you will not let them go."'" Ex 9:13-21

God still makes no apology to Pharaoh or to us for hardening Pharaoh's heart, but He does something unexpected here:

he tells Pharaoh exactly what He is doing.

He says to Him, point blank, that He could have simply destroyed him, but that He is instead using Him as a vessel for His wrath, a tool to make his name famous in all the earth.

God hardens Pharaoh's heart, but He also tells him what He's doing.

I can't go back and ask Pharaoh why, even after God let's Him in on the plan, He endures four more plagues before letting the people go and then decides to chase them through the wilderness only to be drowned in the Red Sea. I don't know if Pharaoh, in fact, could have done any differently than He did. But I do know that I have a bible in front of me that clearly shows me that there are times when God does difficult things that seem to lead us into sin and then He holds us accountable for it. I may not understand why, but it gives me some peace to know that God is at least honest about it.

Would you think me odd if I told you that this gives me an odd kind of thrill? If I shared with you that, reading these passages last night, I thought to myself, "Aight, God, it’s on!" would you think that sacrilegious?

Though my initial thought was, I admit, a bit cavalier, let me give you an exhortation nevertheless:

When God sets an impossible situation in front of you, instead of crying out against God for His unreasonable demands, why not accept the challenge?

If you've walked with God for any length of time, I guarantee that you've experience His goodness and grace. You know that God is good or you wouldn't be here. Don't you think that His goodness even extends through this impossible situation? Why not be bold and make a sucker bet on that goodness?

Be wild, step into the lion's den with me and say:

"Okay God you brought me here. I might be ripped to pieces and the spectators may mock my idiocy, but I will not be an easy mark like Pharaoh and exalt myself against You. I will not cry out against You so I can be rebuked like Job. I refuse to walk away from my faith and be condemned because of it.

Bring it on, Mufasa."

--Sarah Elizabeth

Trust: Continuing the Journey

Thank you so much for going with me on this journey toward Trust. I've enjoyed sharing the experience.

Here's a quick recap of the past three weeks:

I don't trust God.

One Word 2011: Trust

Trust: A Curveball

I've created a false image of God

Trust: I'm Not THAT Person

I am afraid of not having money

Trust: Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?
I live in a "Culture of Affluence" and I'm not okay with that.

Trust: A Culture of Affluence

I must write to worship God; I worship God with my writing

Trust: What's Your Angle?

I love Jesus, writing, kids, reading, music, and coffee; but these are not the reason I write. 
Trust: What's Your Angle? Part Two

So I've the established the "I am"s but today I wanted to share with you the "I am going to"s (though I refuse to call them resolutions).

I am going to... learn to trust God.

I am going to... learn to see God as He is and as He would have me to be.

I am going to... learn to live free from my circumstances.
I am going to... break free of my culture and climb over cultural barriers.
I am going to... write His words with my voice.

And here's a new one:

I am going back to Haiti. Soon.

If you'll reach back with me to day one of this journey you might recall this statement. Or not. It doesn't matter, I'm pasting it here.

"I can’t help but wonder if, lately, God just hasn't allowed me to feel the dead weight of my faith. I wonder if He’s letting me feel the pain of an unfulfilled calling and an empty gospel. I wonder if He’s letting me see the way He would have me to worship Him."

I will occasionally mention the kids you can sponsor through Compassion International and World Vision and I also talk about Haiti quite a bit. These are things that are very close to my heart, I love these ministries and I've been telling people for a while now that my dream job would be work with a similar organization to help bridge that gap, caused by our culture of affluence, between sponsors and the children they support. Of course I'd do this wherever God sent me.

But I want to go to Haiti.

Haiti is a beautiful tropical country in the Caribbean ravaged by corrupt and broken governance, ignorant and unsustainable farming methods, empty superstitions, and objectification and exploitation of children and the poor. These problems have been amplified by perennial hurricanes and a devastating earthquake in 2010. It is also less than an hour's flight away from Miami.

The people of Haiti have a ragged history of slavery, tyranny, and a desperate fight to find and preserve their cultural identity. They are downtrodden, but they are resilient.

Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Isa 35:3

The people of Haiti don't need to be bailed out. They don't need charity. They need people committed to standing with them as they strengthen their hands and feet. They need true compassion and long-suffering love as only Jesus can offer.

I've wanted to go back to Haiti since the moment I got on the plane back to Miami. But I've let it remain one of those things that "couldn't" happen. Until recently.

A few months ago I was presented with an opportunity to study abroad for a month this summer in Switzerland. This 4 week study on intercultural communications and tourism included trips to Munich, Paris, and Florence.

Heck. Yes.

It also cost over $4,000 plus airfare to Switzerland. Oh...

But I knew my God was a God who provided and this was a big, shiny, exciting door in front of me, so I decided I'd go ahead and knock. Yet, as I walked my way through the process, more and more I had a sense that maybe this wasn't something that should be part of my life right now. As I experienced greater levels of general unrest. I began to be more sure that, though my heart was to bridge cultural gaps, taking a tour of Europe wasn't where I was going to learn how to do that. Not this time.

Fortunately for me, that shiny, exciting door stayed firmly closed so I was saved from having to voluntarily decide not to go to Europe. That honestly makes me happy, bruised pride notwithstanding.

Because I want to go back to Haiti.

More importantly, I truly believe this is where God wants me to be. This is how He wants to teach me to Trust. This is how He wants to teach me to be free of my circumstances.

I am so unbelievably tired of living my risk-free life and filtering God's plans for me on my terms. I am tired of not trusting Him. I am not sure how I'm going to learn to really trust Him with my life and I have no idea when, for how long or by what means I'm going back to Haiti.

But I'm a-going!

Thanks again for sharing this journey with me.

Trust: What's Your Angle? Part Two

Installment six of my series on One Word 2011: Trust.

Yesterday I share a few of the insecurities I've faced regarding what we in the church crew like to call my "calling" (psst, Sarah, everyone calls it that). I, in my insecurity, have wondered if my words matter, if they are useful to God and if anyone will ever read them. But, regardless of the size of my audience or the prestige it brings, God does have a use for my many, many words, and He, by simply caring about them, ascribes significance to them. And that significance is not simply validating, it breathes life into my frightened, wound-up little soul.

Relax, little one, you matter to me.

That I must write may be established but then, how do I do it?

I bounced around the edges of the blogging pool during my first few years mostly because, if I'm honest, I was afraid to find I was just another voice in the clamor. But I've gradually begun to explore the deep end and I've found that its very interesting here. My first observation was that there were so many different categories of blogs out there, techie blogs, coffee blogs, mommy blogs, Jesus blogs, satire blogs, humanitarian blogs, gluten-free blogs, dog-lover blogs... every blog has a unique platform. This is simultaneously fascinating and terrifying.

A blog, like any self-initiated public venture, brings with it the pressure to stand out. You may have a great deal to say, but if you don't have a hook no one will pause long enough to listen to it. Each author has to have an "angle." If you're a staff writer for an established publication, you're staking your paycheck on your ability to say something important in an interesting way. When you're blogging for yourself, you're doing something a whole lot more frightening.

A personal blog is a way to, essentially, publish yourself. You put the best parts of you onto an electronic billboard and ask the world to care about it. By seeking out a clever angle, you essentially find a way to trim the fat and say "This is the core of who I am wrapped in a quirky, eye-catching frame. Please find it interesting. Please listen to what I have to say."

Once I realized that I had no angle besides the Sarah Elizabeth angle (I'm not sure what kind of audience there is for that...) I started to panic. I thought what is it that makes me different? What makes me me? How can I publish my overflowing thoughts in a way that will make people care? My search for an interesting angle transformed into a search for myself. I got overwhelmed in the tide of self-doubt, so I did what I always do when I get panicky and overwhelmed: I made a list.

Who Am I?

• I love Jesus (but there are already a million Jesus blogs out there, scratch that)
• I love child-focused humanitarian organizations like Compassion and World Vision (aw, but they have staff writers and I haven't even been to visit a Project, scratch that)
• I love kids in general (but you can't have a mommy blog unless you're a mommy)
• I love reading (but you have to finish books to blog about them, scratch that)
• I love music (but I don't even want to try to put myself up against the music gurus out there!)
• I love coffee (but I'm not a connisseur, and I don't really want to be)
• I love like running

(did I really just strikethrough Jesus?)

As the list went on yielding empty idea after empty idea, my panic deepened and I began to question whether or not I even mattered as a person. I was utterly un-unique. One-dimensional, no angles. I don't know if there is any fear so paralyzing as the fear that you have to make something of yourself and you simply don't have good enough materials. Like trying to make an evening dress out of cuts of meat (...wait).

About the time that my panic was reaching clinical levels, God, as He so often does, grabbed my cheeks in his huge palms and reminded me

"we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Cor 4:7

I am nothing. I have no angles. I am an empty, rough, unglazed, earthen jar. But I am filled to overflowing with  molten gold. I am filled with fragrant Nard, the aroma of life. The balm inside me heals the world. I am one of a thousand voices, but we are all One Eternal Spirit. The excellence of the treasure inside me does not depend on the vessel administering it to the world.

And I have been chosen.

This is not to say that creativity, humor, cleverness, and ingenuity do not have importance. On the contrary, we are all stewards of the capacities that God has given to us. But we must, I must, understand that He is the potter in this story. There is no need to make this vessel interesting because God has already made it; He continues to remake and refine it. And the treasure inside spills out a little more with each turn of the Wheel.

So I rest (almost) comfortably in His hands, eager to see the craftsmanship, but no so eager that I jump off of the table.

There's a short little refrain included on Aaron Shust's album, Anything Worth Saying that, by no intention of my own, has became a sort of heart-prayer for me every time I sit down to write.

"Give me words to speak, don't let my spirit sleep, because I can't think of anything worth saying..."

Find your voice. Say His words.



Next Post: Continuing the Journey

Trust: What's Your Angle? Part One

Installment five of my series on One Word 2011: Trust. A little behind schedule but I'm okay with that considering the crazy week I've had.

I've been writing bits and pieces in this space for over 3 years now. When I started I didn't have a whole lot of practical direction, I just wanted to spread some good news about love. You can read the long version by clicking on Welcome to Love up above.

The short version is that I saw a lot of hate and judgment in the airwaves, even (most unacceptably) from the followers of Christ. I started to think about the winsome nature of God's grace and love and how those of us who take on the name of Christ also take on the responsibility to love as God loves. Colossians 1:13 describes this love in a beautiful way:

He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love.

This is our ministry: we are roadsigns, we are ushers, we are Wal~Mart greeters beckoning the lost, hurting, and needy into that place of love. The good news that the Kingdom of the Son of God is a much happier place than Wal~Mart.

What started out as something I just wanted to try out has grown into something more, a compulsion you could even say. I find that I absolutely love writing, and not just writing but writing to people. That may sound silly, isn't most writing intended to be read? Let me explain...

I love playing music, classically as well as worship, but honestly I'm okay just doing that alone in my bedroom for the rest of my life. I also like running but I'm okay running on a dirt road by myself not even keeping track of how far I'm going. Sometimes you write in a journal or notebook simply for the joy of writing, never caring if or never wanting someone to read it.

I'm not okay if someone doesn't read my writing.

I've struggled with that a bit, because it seems selfish and vain. But what I'm learning is that, while we are all called to the same thing, the love God and to love one another (Luke 10:27), we all do that in different ways.

I love God with my writing, I love others through my writing.

This does not mean that there is only one way each of us can show love, but God, creative guy that He is, designs us each to love him in a unique way. Beautiful as a duet of violins can be, it cannot compare to the richness of a string quartet which in turn cannot compete with the overwhelming sound of a full orchestra. We're all playing the same song, we're just playing a different part.

But there is a Part Two to this particular story: what happens when you don't have an audience for your music? What if you aren't part of the Philharmonic Orchestra or what if you're not published? What if only 3 people read your blog?

This is a legitimate concern because, no matter how well we express our love in our giftings, if no one receives that love, there is a problem. However we have to be careful that we don't equate three people or even one person with "no one". We we  to use God's standards to measure the effectiveness of our ministry, because it is, in fact, His ministry. If God wants to minister to one particular person and wants to do it through you, then that, my friend, is not our business. We do not have the authority to question His purposes.

We may plant, we may water, and we certainly had better make sure to do those things with excellence, but remember that God brings the increase (1 Cor 3:7).

This is an important lesson to me, because I sometimes feel like I am just throwing my heart out there like waves breaking upon a beach, and the beach is deserted. But the waves keep coming whether or not there is anyone there to enjoy them. When someone walks by and smiles, pulls out a camera to watch their child play in the surf, or runs down the beach with a board under their arm, they aren't thinking about the millions of waves that washed unseen upon the sand, they are simply enjoying them. But if the ocean suddenly grew tired of casting wave after wave upon an empty shore and gave up, then when someone did finally walk by they would be disappointed.

Likewise, if you decide to give up on loving because you cannot see the effect, then when someone does wander by, you truly will be pointless. Likewise, don't worry about the amount of love your throw out into the world that goes unnoticed or seems pointless, you can just consider it practice for when someone happens to walk by. Besides, even if you never get to see your audience, you know that there is One who always sees.

So be blessed, my seemingly insignificant friend. Significance is indeed in the Eye of the Beholder.


 Next Post: What's Your Angle? Part 2

Trust: A Curveball.

I took an unplanned 2 day vacation. The truth is my world has kind of turned a little upside down for the past few days. Early Saturday morning I got a phone call from my mom saying that my brother and sister had taken my 9 month old nephew, Isaiah, to the emergency room. Isaiah had been having some trouble with his kidneys for the past few days and was now not able to keep any food down. At the hospital, they diagnosed him with Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome, this basically means that tiny blood clots were forming in his kidneys and there was also damage to his red blood cells and the damaged cells were also clogging his kidneys. This was resulting in a low RBC count and kidney failure. They didn't know what was causing this condition but it was bad enough that they decided to airlift him to a specialist at a larger hospital.

Over the course of the next 3 or 4 days we found out that Isaiah actually has Atypical Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome, an autoimmune disease caused by a genetic mutation. This means that there is no external trigger for his HUS, his own body was creating the problem and, since there was no problem (Isaiah's own genes are the problem) there was no solution.

This all sounds very dire and scary, so I should also mention that, at the hospital where Isaiah is, there are straight-up amazing doctors. Almost immediately they were talking about treatment options, and Isaiah has already received one round of these treatments and is responding well. Also of note are the incredible number of prayers that have lifted on his behalf, if you're a prayer, I'd be incredibly blessed if you were counted in this number. But, by far, the most important factor in this situation is not the severity or rarity of the disease, the very talented doctors, or even number of people praying, but rather the incomparable hugeness of the God who designed his little genetically-mutated body.

That said, I still have fear and I have doubt. I realized a few days into this crisis that, though I had been praying, I did not believe that God was going to heal Isaiah. I have blogged over the past couple of days on the journey God and I are on toward Trust. I'm still finding my footing and I didn't realize I was going to get such a huge a curveball quite so early in this game.

In fact, I hadn't realized how this situation was even relevant until Tuesday night as I was talking to my friend, Whitney. Earlier that day, I had finally realized that I was not praying in faith and that the cynical part of my heart didn't actually believe there was any miracle on the way for Isaiah. We had a very honest and encouraging conversation about fear and trust and later she wrote the following. I wanted to share it with you because it reminded me how much of a good, compassionate, and trustworthy God we have..

I had a thought today. It was interesting the way it happened, really. I was coming back from the Cookie Mill with some wonderful people and one of my friends just simply rubbed my back as I walked by. As she did that I realized how tense I actually am right now. Her gentle touch almost immediately relaxed me and simply reminded me to stop and breathe a little.

A couple minutes later I was talking on the phone with my very dear friend Sarah and she was mentioning how fear is able to grab a hold of us and we don't realize it until the Lord gives us a reminder of who He is in the midst of that fear. I was immediately reminded of the touch from my friend. Sometimes we allow our hearts to become so tense with fear and we don't even realize it's happening until God gently reaches down and touches us. It might be through a kind word from someone, a song, a Scripture verse, or yes, a touch from a friend. Whatever it is, God is reaching out to touch. And that touch is not condemning or even correcting. 

The touch is more like a gentle mother softly caressing her child. Or like my own mother, tenderly rubbing the leg of her precious little grandson till he fell asleep in the hospital. God, our Father is reaching out to us to bring comfort and peace when we are hurting, worried, afraid, or confused. His touch brings refreshing and renewal. It brings hope and sustains us. His touch brings life.

Whenever we face a crisis, we have a series of decisions before us and are generally bombarded by information. It is in the midst of this tornado of facts, truth, perceptions, opinions, and experiences that we have to decide how and where we're going to walk. All of the truths God has established by His Word and through our experiences are called into question by the strange circumstances and all the conflicting and confusing realities they bring.

Walking in faith then becomes a process of drawing out the truth of who we know God to be and allowing that to be the reality in which we operate. Because if He is an omnipotent, eternal, and unchangeable God, then the reality of who He is can't change with our circumstances. Walking in faith means that we place the eternal truth of God's nature above our changeable circumstances. This can be incredibly difficult when the "realness" of our circumstances is slapping us in the face every moment. That still small voice, is easily drowned out in the tornado (1 Ki 19:12).

What my very wise friend Whit is saying here is that there are times when we allow the fear and uncertainty of our circumstances to creep in until we are so tightly bound up in them that we are not allowing ourselves to experience the peace and security God offers us. In those moments God reaches in through the storm and quietly touches us, reminding us that He's still there, He hasn't changed and He does care. But we have to be willing to hear that. We have to be willing to walk as if we believed it.

She also posted this video. It's an amazing reminder not just that God cares about this particular situation and that He has power over this particular situation, but that God has established a pattern of love, compassion, and trustworthiness since day one of creation. The climax of God's love for us; His goodness, justice, and mercy; and His incredibly faithfulness, was Him coming down personally to rescue me from my sin. A God that comes from glory to shame, from perfection to humanity, and from life to death, does not suddenly change His nature.

Whatever situation you are facing, God has already established His love, compassion, and faithfulness. Be encouraged.

And pray for little Isaiah.

Next Post: What's Your Angle? 

Trust: A Culture of Affluence

If you've poked around this blog at all you may have gotten the impression that I have a bit of a "thing" for helping the poor. It's true, I'm just a nice person like that. But the real truth is that, though I sponsor a child through Compassion International and, technically, I am an Advocate for the same, my world is very insulated from the poor.

For the past decade or so, the term global village, has been thrown around quite a bit. The term describes a concept of global, international, cross-cultural unity that is made possible through world-wide network of communications technology. The Internet and the world wide web have brought this concept closer to realization than ever before. But still, a global village is far from a reality. The social, linguistic, and cultural separations between the peoples of the world are still overwhelming.

In my culture, we live in, what I like to call, a "culture of affluence." This phrase came to me while I was reading Richard Stearns' The Hole in Our Gospel. I realized that the chasm that separated me from the poor was made up of more than just physical space. I live in a world characterized by wealth. The having of it, the attaining of it, and the spending of it are the chief preoccupations of myself and my world.

For a staggering number of people in my "global village," 40-50 percent of the world, the chief preoccupation is survival. The difference between wealth and survival is fundamental, they are as different as mud cookies and tiramisu. As I tried to understand the difference, I realized that I had built up some kind of fantasy about what life was like for one of the children for whom I claim to be an advocate. My wealth and culture create such a wide buffer that their lives did not even exist in the "real" world: my world.

For some reason, the subject of clean water was what drove this truth home for me. I had heard the statistic that 1 in 6 people do not have access to clean water before, but still, this did not have meaning for me until I understood the implications. Water is central to life on this planet; we can go for weeks without food but we would only last a few days without water. Survival aside, when I think of how much water I use in a single day I am staggered. Have you ever let the tap run for 15 seconds or more simply waiting for it to heat up? That water is literally down the drain, what if you had walked miles to haul that water?

Not having a well or plumbing means that this morning, before the work and school day begin, the mother and children in a family have had to to haul enough water to do the day's washing and cooking or they would not have water that day. This means walking miles in some cases. This is not Little House on the Prairie, this is January 18th 2011. Before I even woke up this morning, children, sometimes as young as 5, have been hauling buckets of water. Have you ever hauled water? Have you ever hauled water in the predawn chill? For hours? Have you ever tried to go to school afterward? Have you ever spent hours hauling dirty, parasite-infested water in the predawn chill?

No. No, of course you haven't, neither have I. This is why there is a chasm separating us from these people, our neighbors in this global village, that will keep their reality a fantasy unless we can find some way to bridge it. The travesty is that the people living this lifestyle are as numerous as we who are not, yet it is quite possible for those of us living in this culture of affluence to never even consider, let alone understand their situation. For many of us, they simply do not even exist.

Part of the problem is that we like our separation from the poor. Drawing near to such a desperate and obviously unacceptable cultural reality, while we labor over whether to buy the ATV or save the money for Disneyland, is very uncomfortable. When we encounter poverty we also have to deal with guilt and responsibility and I will be the first to admit that I don't like it. I prefer telling others to help the poor. Bringing the responsibility for the situation of the desperate poor into our own house pollutes our way of life and makes it impossible for us to live in the same way we always have, the voice of justice in our hearts requires us to do something about it. Again, I'll admit it's easier to keep the injustices toward the poor a fantasy.

Yet this disparity is more than ethically wrong, it is dangerous. Obviously it hurts the poor, but it also hurts those of us who are rich. We cannot be so widely separated from others and expect to remain unharmed by the divide. We cannot truly accept the humanity of people who are so completely different from us. If we are serious about this concept of global unity, we have to address this disparity and find a way, not as a culture, but as individuals, to narrow the gap. We have to find some way to make the reality for the rest of the world to impact our reality. The alternative is that half of the world will continue to not exist.

This is particularly significant for people like me who claim to care for this cause. If I cannot make the reality of the poor, people I claim to want to help, impact my life in a real way, then I am worse than a hypocrite. This is the next step of my journey to trust (and it is very specific to me): God is asking me how willing I am to experience the reality of poverty, if I am willing to separate myself from my culture of affluence in order to better love the rest of the world. This does not mean He is calling me to a life of poverty, but He is calling me to seek a living faith in Him, a life of freedom from money, and a life of true compassion.

Practically this means living "abnormally:" living simply, without the waste and excess that is unique to a culture of affluence. Because I love my lists, I've already started several lists of things to sacrifice on the altar of my works, things like my car, sleep, eating out, and other luxuries that 40 percent of the world does not have access to. While these things may become part of my reality I have to remind myself, and urge you as well, if you are also so inclined, that God is looking for the sacrifice of a changed heart before the outworking of a changed life. Please do not fall into the trap, as I so often do, of assuaging your conscience by heaping up good works. You will be disappointed and skip over the better part God has for you. Pray first, and then do.

However, do not be afraid of letting your faith have a practical outworking. Nothing brings richness and substance to prayer and faith like an outpouring of practical love and compassion. If the subject of clean water is of particular interest to you, you can access more information, including how you can be part of the solution, through Compassion International (via their partnership with Healing Waters International) or World Vision.

I also cannot end without the request to consider sponsoring a child. There is no easier and quicker way to make the reality for half world your reality than by inviting a living, breathing child into your life.



Next Post: A Curveball

Trust: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Last week I began a series of posts regarding my One Word for 2011: Trust. You can read more about it here.

Something momentus happened in my little community a few weeks ago. Someone won the Megamillions lottery, a $355 million jackpot that, when split between 2 people and Uncle Sam amounts to $78 million.

$78 Million!

Now whenever something like this happens, we always pretend that we're somehow glad that we don't have to deal with all of the negative things associated with winning the lottery. For my part, I looked up information on all of the lottery winners that went bankrupt, ended up in jail or some such horrible thing. One guy spent all his money on crack and another guy's brother hired a hit man to try and kill him!

But, much as we many deny wishing we had been the lucky ones, we still imagine what we would do with the money. I am a nerd so I made a spreadsheet. No I'm not joking. I made a spreadsheet budgeting my $78 million dollars. I was especially generous because, you know, I'm a Christian, so I only kept about $2 million for myself. I figured, "hey thats less than 3%," conveniently forgetting that its still two freaking million dollars!

The point here is not how generous I am (with money that I did not earn) but what it is truly costing me. I have no doubt that if I won that much money and gave 97% of it away I would be lauded as a hero but would God be pleased by my generosity?

There is a short story in 1st Chronicles in which the Lord directs David to buy a threshing floor upon which to build an alter. The owner offers to give to David, the king, freely. David's response is incredibly wise:

But King David said or Ornan, "No, but I will buy them for the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, nor offer burn offerings that cost me nothing." 1 Chr 21:24

Would God be pleased by my generosity? Well maybe in someone else's case, but not in mine. I know this because, by my calculations, $2 million would have been enough money to do everything that I wanted to do and not have to worry about money for the rest of my life. It sounds reasonable doesn't it? As I dreamed about such a windfall in my life, I thought to myself, "Come on God, I don't want to be rich, I just want enough so I can do the work YOU have put in my heart and not have to worry about money," and then I heard it. The quietly patient and deeply convicting voice of God,

"Who said you had to worry about money right now?"

Aw, snap!

My 97% generosity, by human standards, amounted to $77 million, but my God is not concerned about how much I am giving but how much it is costing me. It isn't that God wants grand gestures or self-deprivation, he wants our trust. My sacrifice would not come at the cost of my self-dependence, and that's not enough for God. He wants everything, not because he's a sadist or arrogant, but because He wants to be our security; He wants to give us more.

Let me be clear here, if our anxiety is predicated on "having enough," then you and I are slaves. Jesus explains this on the Sermon on the Mount.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" Matthew 6:19-21, 24-25

Often we view the exhortation to "store up treasures in heaven," as yet another burdensome spiritual discipline that God has heaped upon an already overflowing plate. Please understand, this is not another empty exhortation to, haha, "not worry about money." Like you, I've heard that a dozen times before. No, this is a call to accept the freedom God offers. The freedom to live the life He has given us, free from the dictates of money.

This is the freedom that Paul talks about in Romans 8:15

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"

Later in Romans 8, Paul speaks of the afflictions he and his companions have suffered for the sake of the Church. Yet somehow, miraculously, he can say,

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:36

God's call is never a call to bondage but to freedom. He does not call us to take on a burden of poverty, but rather to operate in freedom from our circumstances, to recognize that there is more for us than simply having enough money to "not worry." Can't you hear Jesus imploring us,

"...is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?"

Jesus does indeed provide food for the sparrows and clothing for the flowers. He does want to meet our needs but He desires to be more to us then some kind of cosmic bread-winner. He offers us His own spirit, not a spirit of fear, of anxiety, or of slavery but the spirit of adoption in which we can cry out "Abba!" or "Dad!"

I know, I know, it sure would be a whole lot less scary to win the lottery. But that security can be taken away in a moment; you'll still be a slave, you'll just be a rich slave. Jesus offers us something more, something that cannot rust and cannot be stolen. He offers us true independence, true freedom from worry and fear.

Won't you learn to trust with me? Won't you be free with me?



Next Post: A Culture of Affluence