Monday Morning Church

My church just recently went through The Monday Morning Church by Jerry Cook in our small groups. We were also incredibly fortunate to have Jerry come and spend the weekend with us, you can listen to his messages here. Do it, they're awesome.

Monday Morning Church: Out of the Sanctuary and Into the Streets by Jerry Cook

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is my second book by this author (Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness) and the more time I spend with Jerry, the more I like him. MMC builds on the themes establish in LAF: what it means to be "the Body of Christ," being empowered by God's Spirit, and continuing the ministry of Jesus to the world but this book digs a little deeper into how we, as individuals, are able to do that.

In the introduction, Jerry says,

"The essential gospel centers on the person of Jesus, not the church, not even evangelism. The gospel is Jesus...the person of Jesus can only be clearly communicated through people in whom He dwells."

I love this, I absolutely love it.

If we are to be the "body of Christ," we have to understand who Jesus is, what He did during His life, and what He wants to do through His people. Everything we do individually and corporately should be directly linked back to the person of Jesus.

There are four sections to this book:

Part 1: Where is God on Monday
This section outlines the issues with viewing church as a place or a list of activities and shifts the focus to the church as a body of people. When the church is people, it draws God near to us and makes Him personal, it's like the second incarnation. Jesus made it possible for God to be near, Emmanuel: God with us, and the Holy Spirit makes it possible for us to "be" Jesus. When we tell people that God is near to them and they don't have to come to Him because He is chasing after them, it's important to remember that we're talking about ourselves!

Part 2: Who You Are
Building on Colossians 1:27, the idea that Christ is now in us, we can have the confidence to do the work of God. Even those who have been Christians for most of their lives still struggle with insecurity. Jerry explains that because God Himself rests in us, we don't have to be afraid to do His work, we don't have to struggle with who we are because He has made us into new creations and He is continuing to transform and empower us to do the specific work He has planned.

I love this section because it focuses so heavily on how deeply God loves us and the fact that he has willingly chosen us to be His body. I like that :)

Part 3: What You Have

I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all. Eph 1:16-19

If we accept our new position, literally in Christ, then we must also understand the inheritance He has given us: hope, power, freedom, life. You don't need to be disheartened by the weakness of your dying flesh because of God's promises, but we do need to accept these promises. Walking in self-doubt or self-loathing denies the reliability of His promises and it makes us kind of useless.

In order to be the church, we have to accept the tools that He has given us as well as the incredible potential and purpose we now have. We are God's masterpiece and He has a magnificent destiny for us.

Part 4: How You Live
I love it that only one small section of a book about being the church is focused on the "Christian lifestyle stuff." We tend to focus to much on what a Christian life should (or shouldn't) look like in terms of the things we do rather than who we are. And even this section focuses on how who we are in Christ naturally grows into how we live our lives. The fruit of the spirit doesn't come before the tree and the quality (and quantity) of the tree is dependent on the health of the tree.

While this section is incredibly practical, Jerry also makes sure to emphasize that our lives are a work in progress. The point is relationship and growth, not perfection. When we look at "the Christian lifestyle" and then our own, the huge disparity can be depressing or disheartening, but when we look at our lives moment-by-moment, as a series of opportunities to choose the new over the old and to learn how to use this new spirit in us, the process is not only more manageable but actually exciting. Our failures are not cause for despair but opportunities to learn and grow.

Personally, as a Christian woman who struggles with the subject, I deeply appreciated how Jerry handled the section on submission: sensitive, logical, in line with "the whole of scripture" and very Christlike.

I love reading books by Jerry Cook because he manages to find a perfect balance of practical instruction with inspirational truths.

Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness: Being Christian in a Non-Christian World

View all my reviews

What are you reading these days??

Book Reviews: Brother Lawrence and A.W. Tozer

Back in July, I betook myself to the woods in pursuit of a Walden Weekend, of sorts.

It was an awesome time alone with God, creepy vault toilet notwithstanding, and during that time I read two books:

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence
and
The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer

These were excellent books and they contributed a huge part to the success of that weekend. But I realize now that I never did anything more than mention that I read them. Personally, I hate to read a great book and "lose it" by not having some kind of formal response or review so I am in the process of putting together a review of each of these.

Until then, here are a few some thoughts:

Brother Lawrence, a 17th century monk, receives quite a bit of hype in my circles. I've even heard it said that a Christian needs nothing more than the bible and Brother Lawrence. With that in mind, let me suggest that he was certainly NOT a wise philosopher in the guise of a humble man. He was truly a humble man touched by wisdom.

This may seem like a subtle or even undefinable distinction but, let me assure, there can be no mistake about what Brother Lawrence was. He was not great by any standard we set: humble in life and skill, simple in thought and word. He was meek and, it seems to me, a shy man. A nice guy, sure, but not the monster of a spiritual warrior that I expected.

Now that you hate me, let me redeem myself. I believe this man was a hero of epic proportions by God's standard. His unwavering faith and pure devotion to God are far beyond admirable. They seem to be very close to the perfect example of Christlike love and submission: life lived fully in the presence of God, there can be no great aspiration. Brother Lawrence did not disappoint my expectations, in his unassuming way, he made them into a bit of a joke.

I came expecting ambrosia and got manna instead.

I won't sat much about The Pursuit of God other than it was named perfectly. It is a well written, easy to understand, short, and engaging book that presents the reader with the opportunity to live a life not only in God's presence, as with the Practice of the Presence of God, but in active constant pursuit of Him. This is a big idea with proportionate implications, don't let my lack of description belittle it.

But for now, know that the two taken collectively will shake you down, inspire you, and equip you to start that relationship with God that you really hope exists.

Book Review: Open Leadership

Open Leadership: How Social Technology Can Transform the Way You Lead by Charlene Li
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I recently finished reading Open Leadership by Charlene Li. I "stumbled" upon this book on a reading list for the University of Washington's Masters of Communication in Digital Technology program. I didn't know anything about the book, but the subtitle: "How Social Technology can Transform the Way You Lead," intrigued me. I've recently become a junkie for all things social.

Shortly after I started reading Open Leadership, I discovered that Charlene Li is an acknowledged industry leader in social technology, among other things, and is also the founder of the Altimeter Group, an advisory firm that specializes in helping companies utilize so-called "disruptive technologies."

Don't worry, I wasn't sure exactly what a disruptive technology was myself, so I looked it up. I am nothing if not a Google aficionado. Disruptive technologies are, roughly, technologies or innovations that "disrupt" existing practices by creating a new way of doing things or even a new "thing" to do. That is, they create a new market or value network. Social technology can be considered a disruptive technology in that it changes the way that businesses and individuals communicated (to a degree) and creates an entirely new activity altogether, you really can't say that "Facebooking" is comparable to talking on the phone or reading an email; it's something unique and new.

Whenever this kind of innovation comes a long, it can be difficult to embrace this new technology and to make the transition from the "old way" of doing things to the "new way." The Altimeter Group attempts to lubricate that transition.

Why did I just spend three paragraphs talking about disruptive technology? Really? Do I ever need an excuse to talk about something for three paragraphs?

But, in all seriousness, this difficulty was the catalyst for Open Leadership.

The term "open-leadership" itself refers to the style of leadership that values transparency, authenticity, and trust. If you are hearing a lot of "buzzing" from those words, don't adjust your audio; it just means that this is not a new idea. Social technology (via the popularity and ease of information sharing and the incredible connected-ness of the world) has played an important role in creating the market or desire for these "open" attributes.

As I said, social technology changed the business marketing and communication game in many ways. It changed the nature of the business-client relationship and that transition has been rough for many businesses. Open Leadership is a manual on helping your company or agency accept the inevitability of this changed game, take control of your destiny in it, and embrace the possibilities that it offers.

And I am not joking when I say it is a manual. The book is full of lists, tests, diagrams, worksheets, and auditing methods for you to (relatively) scientifically examine the "openness" of your organization. It also outlines the essential elements of an open leadership plan and walks you through the steps to creating and sustaining that plan. It is intensely practical edging on overwhelming at times.

With that in mind, this is not a book that I plan on shelving or giving away. It will stay close by (kind of inevitable as it's on my Kindle and my phone) for continued reference, partially because there are some really great tools inside and partially (mostly) because there are a lot of things that I didn't retain the first time through. Seriously, there are a lot of lists in this book...

View all my reviews

Book Review: The Problem of Pain

I finished The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis back in May, and this review has been one of those "meaning to" things. C'est la vie! C'est comme ça que je suis!

C.S. Lewis rocks my brain. He thinks and writes in such a linear and logical pattern yet creates this amazingly complest and sophisticated picture with them, much like a straight line curve design like this:

...only much cooler.

I love books that you can stew in, and C.S. Lewis writes stewing-in-books. Now, you can certainly zip through the Chronicles of Narnia and his other works of fiction, but even his novels have depth and complexity in which you can bathe, if you so are inclined. Yes, it's true that the writing style is a becoming more archaic by the day, and his references are not ones that necessarily make sense to your average middle class American girl born in 1985, however "bookish" she may claim to be. Still, I like books that make me sit up straight. That is, between Harry Potter stints.

But, perhaps best of all, C.S. Lewis seems to be a "picker." You know what I'm talking about, one of those people who can't leave things alone. He picks and picks at ideas, especially his own, until he is satisfied that they are structurally sound. As previously mentioned, I'm given to bunny trails, so it especially nice for me that C.S. Lewis provides such a sturdy structure for me to play on.

Shall I demonstrate?


The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The heart, soul, brain, and feet of this book are wrapped up in this premise:

“If God were good, he would wish to make his creatures perfectly happy, and if God were almighty he would be able to do what he wished. But the creatures are not happy. Therefore God lacks either the goodness, or power, or both”.

This equation is the center of The Problem of Pain. Rather than skip ahead to more abstract philosophies about suffering, he asks the question that you, me, and Joe High-School-Education have all asked, and he stays there. Equally commendable, h e doesn't tell the reader why he shouldn't be asking this question. He doesn't say, "God's ways are not our ways" (one of the most frustrating and least comforting a Christian can say to someone experiencing pain). No, like any good Picker, he picks.

As he pokes and prods these issues, Lewis makes a few suggestions and observations that make the "God = good = happy people" equation break down. He does this in 10 chapters:

Introductory
Divine Omnipotence
Divine Goodness
Human Wickedness
The Fall of Man
Human Pain
Human Pain, continued
Hell
Animal Pain
Heaven

Lewis takes 15 page in the "Introductory" chapter to explain that this "Problem" of pain would be no problem at all if God or some divine standard didn't exist. This may not seem all that revolutionary, but it is important to understand the assumptions we make about pain and its existence in the world. As a complex, thinking life form, we have some sense that somehow the bad things ought not happen. Even those who do not believe in any kind of higher power sense that pain and suffering, in at least a few cases, is an injustice. But Lewis will explain in further chapters that pain, especially physical pain, is not inherently a bad thing, it is actually a survival mechanism. Pain, he posits, tells us that something is wrong. If we did not experience pain then we would have no concept that anything was wrong with this world.

The following chapters examine the terms within the "If God were good" equation: 'good', 'almighty' and 'happy,' and then placing them next to examples within the bible along with observable principles and relationships within the world in order to ask the reader what we really understand to be true about these ideas. Often, our assumptions about what is 'good,' etc., is not so simple, especially when we consider that we do not live in a vacuum.

Co-existence of freely-willed people requires pain. You and I exist within the same limited space, it cannot accommodate the absolute fulfillment of all things. That is to say, the resources (food, warmth, shelter, society, success) the guarantee happiness are limited and shared among all creatures. It makes me wonder if it would be possible to creative entirely homeostatic, symbiotic relationship between every organism, bacteria to human. I suppose God could have created a system wherein each organism's existence was independent of any other, but such an idea is bizarre when we look at our world.

God create a world where creatures were designed to have relationship, friend, lover, father, master, owner, mentor or servant. Each of our actions directly affects a host of other creatures, even causing pain. No interdependent world can be pain free, so no free-willed organism within an interdependent system can be utterly satisfied, or 'happy'. The idea negates itself and can't exist.

Now this is just a small sample of the arguments and ideas presented in this book. To be sure, it is not the end of the discussion on pain. But it is an important addition to that argument. More than that, it causes you to think, which is important.

These are not simple issues and they reach deep into the heart of who we are and especially our relationship with a god that is, supposedly, good. For that reason I highly recommend reading C.S. Lewis's The Problem of Pain.

View all my reviews

Book Review: Blue Like Jazz

Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality by Donald Miller

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I bought Blue Like Jazz about 2 years ago, long after the cool-wave had crested, and finally read it last month. It was embarassing to me, an obviously trendy Christian, that I was reading one of the coolest Christian books around about 6 years after it mattered.



See, once you become aware of the Blue Like Jazz/Donald Miller movement (if you're not already) you quickly realize that it is heavy with words like "cool," "trendy," "relevant," and "fresh" (as the paragraph above illustrates). This is really unfortunate because being "cool," especially in Christian circles, can be as damaging as it is helpful. So let's pretend for a moment that it is 2003 and we haven't heard the BLJ hype just yet, okay?



If you're going to enjoy this book, I think the subtitle is important because it is not a Christian self help book, a devotional, or even clearly defined topically; this is a book of "thoughts." Once you understand that, the slightly meandering and personal journey from cover to cover makes a lot more sense. Think of it as a series of conversations with your friend Don, filled with a lot of anecdotes and a few really good observations.



That said, Blue Like Jazz was a good book. I found myself occasionally confused, sometimes irritated, often inspired, and crying once. "Good" to me usually means three stars but I credit the last two chapters, "How to Really Love Yourself" and "How to Really Love Others," with inspiring that fourth star.



I was confused because it does seem to wander a bit from topic to topic. I was irritated by the heavy use of sarcasm and criticism of the church which, at times, seemed to be an attempt to distance the author from the (forgive me) uncool or negative characteristics of the Church or just to be funny. I get the church's failures, really I do, but I don't like friendly fire. But, like a good friend who you used to dislike, I found myself becoming okay with the sarcasm the more I got to know the book.



I was inspired because, more than any other "Christian" book I've read, this one seems to genuinely like people who aren't Christians AND, more importantly, it shows that God does too. It looks outside of cultural christianity and finds God there. I was inspired because I get what "Blue Like Jazz" means: God, love, faith, people; none of it actually resolves, though we pretend it does. But there is beauty even in the dissonance; the leading tones seem to dangle our souls above some "God/love/faith/people" truth even though we may never actually land cleanly on that truth.



And I cried because love really can change lives; because love means more than pretentious religiosity. Because love transcends and love heals and I see that in Donald Miller's meandering noreligious thoughts and experiences. I cried because loving people, beyond preaching and morality, actually loving people really is the point.



View all my reviews

Book Review: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass

When I finished Alice and Through the Looking glass I had this suspician that, though I really enjoyed it, I was missing a bigger theme. It is as if Lewis Carroll just played a massive joke on the literary community and, wherever he is today, he is still chuckling to himself. Whether the joke is the message hidden in silliness or the poor folks trying to find a hidden message in nonsense, I can not yet tell, but I'm sure he's laughing either way.

I have a high tolerance for silliness especially when it is flavored with imagination, so both stories were a delight for me. In Through the Looking Glass, the meandering plot takes a backseat to the spirit of "playtime" that dominates most of the story. Like a painter who loves the elements of his craft, the color and texture of the paint and canvas, more than the picture itself, Lewis Carroll creates a story where the journey truly is more important than the destination. It is almost as if the story is really just an excuse for the experience: an opportunity to take a dip in a child's dream-world and look at the landscape.

read more

Book Review: Jane Eyre

This is just a bit from my review on Goodreads (friend me!). Jane Eyre is obviously a great book so I wanted to take a more narrow look at it. It ended up being a bit on the negative side, still a great read though!




Although I consider Jane Eyre a manifold literary triumph, the strongest points in my mind right now are the few well defined complaints I have. Now I say complaints, but these are from a moral or sociological rather than literary standpoints. They do not detract from the story, they are not flaws, rather they are well composed elements of the story which I find disheartening but nevertheless essential.


First, I was fairly upset by the way Bertha Mason/Rochester was treated. Of course you have to take the cultural climate into account, and Rochester certainly could have sent her to an asylum or worse so I do not bear he or Bronte any ill will, but it is a sobering picture of how the mentally ill were viewed and treated during this time. If I have any objection, it is how she was painted as more of a villain rather than a victim of mental illness.


read more

The Hole in Our Gospel: Don't Give Up

I was reading through The Hole in Our Gospel for this mythical review that I am doing and was struck by a particular story.

In this story, a man is walking down a beach that is  covered with starfish that had been washed ashore during a recent storm. Unable to get back into the water, these thousands of starfish would all, inevitably, die. As the man ponders the tragedy of the death of the starfish, he sees another man walking down the same beach picking up starfish, one by one, and throwing them back into the water.

"What are you doing?" I yelled.
"Saving the starfish," he replied.
"But don't you see, man, that there are tens of thousands of them?" I asked, incredulous. "Nothing you can do will make a difference."
He did not answer me but instead bent down, picked up another starfish, and cast it back into the water. Then he smiled, looked me in the eye, and said, "It made a difference to that one!"

This story is mean to illustrate a common problem we face when dealing with the poverty or any other social issue. We are so overwhelmed by the size of the problem that we are too discouraged to take even the smallest steps.

This is an idea that you have probably heard before, it has been said in one way or another by many wise people:

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."
Helen Keller

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."Leo Tolstoy

"I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water creating many ripples"Mother Theresa

"The best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time" 
African proverb

Inspirational quotes are candy to me, I feed on this stuff. But, even after hearing quotes such as these, though we (I) may begin do do the "small things," we (I) still quickly become discouraged.

See, even though we know we're only doing a small thing, we still expect to see big change. While taking the small steps does matter, it is simply not going to have a visible effect on the bigger issue. What we don't realize is that, when we set out to save the world, it is not necessarily going to cooperate.

This is why we cannot (personally) set out to change worldwide problems.

What? What kind of defeatist attitude is that?

Well though I have the heart of an idealist, I have the body of a pragmatist. It's a marvelous inspirational goal to envision world change, but when it comes down to actually do the work to change the world, you have to be a realist, otherwise you will be too discouraged to do the work.

We may know in some corner of our idealist heart that the little thing we are doing can, when taken collectively, change the world, but to find the drive to keep going while we're actually doing the little thing, we have to keep our eyes on something closer, something real.

Tuck that ideal away in your heart. Write it down. Frame it and put it on your wall. But keep something real, something attainable always in front of your eyes.

This is one of the major reasons that I advocate child sponsorship, it is one of the realest "little" things you can do to change the world.

By sponsoring a child, you are, quite literally, saving a life. You can see the effects of it immediately and it gives you the drive to keep doing it. Instead of investing time, money, heart, and effort into an impossible problem: ending world hunger, you are ending the hunger of one person. One child.

That's very real. And, yes, it changes the world.

Update: C.S. Lewis and The Problem of Pain

I started reading The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis this month. Though I'm not finished with it yet I wanted to share a quick update on how things are going.

It, like everything by C.S. Lewis, is amazing. It's a step-by-step examination of the nature of human suffering and why a good, powerful, and loving God would allow His creation to experience pain. If you have ever struggled with this issue, I would highly recommend it.

However, it hit me while I was reading it that, though C.S. Lewis is a phenomenal author and his books are rich with practical and inspiring wisdom, few people read him anymore (Chronicles of Narnia, aside). This is tragic to me because I believe that Mere Christianity alone could revolutionize the heart of believers and non believers alike.

So why don't we read him anymore? I've decided that, though he writes in English, C.S. Lewis needs a translator.

In case you are not entirely sure who Clive Staples "Jack" Lewis actually is, let me give you a very brief biography.

He was born right around the turn of the century and died in 1963. Though he was English by birth, he was actually born and raised in Ireland and did not move to England until he attended college at Oxford. Though he was baptised into the Church of Ireland, like many, he walked away from the faith as a teenager. He did not become a Christian until his 30s largely in part to the influences of his friend J.R.R. Tolkien (what I wouldn't have given to have gone to Oxford in the 30s!) and the writings of G.K. Chesterton (love love love!). After his conversion, C.S. Lewis wrote over 100 nonfiction books, articles, essays, novels, and poems including, notably:

Mere Christianity

A Grief Observed

The Great Divorce

The Screwtape Letters

The Chronicles of Narnia

The Space Trilogy

and, of course, The Problem of Pain

His background as an atheist, his time at Oxford, and his love and study of mythology gave him a simultaneously academic and playful manner of writing that I just love. But, because he was an Oxford professor and scholar in early 20th century England, he really does speak a different language than an average, publicly educated, 21st century American.

So we don't read him. And we miss out!

Someone really should take on the task of writing a C.S. Lewis companion to go along with his books. I'm not talking about a cliff notes volume, though there is something like that available, I mean a NASB-style, line by line translation.

Someone needs to do this because, if they don't, I might get crazy and do it myself.

   

Book Review: Love Acceptance and Forgiveness

Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness: Being a Christian in a Non Christian World by Jerry Cook

Jerry Cook pastored at East Hill Church in Gresham, OR for 19 years and was an associate pastor at Eastside Foursquare Church in Kirkland, WA for several years after that. Since his retirement in 2007, he has continued to work as a church consultant and speaker across the United States and internationally.

In addition to Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness, Jerry has authored and co authored several other books including A Few Things I’ve Learned Since I knew it All, Choosing to Love: The Odyssey of a Relationship, Trusting God When You Have Cancer, and his newest (which I am very excited to read) The Monday Morning Church: Out of the Sanctuary and Into the Streets.

I first read Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness over a year ago. It was probably the most impacting book I had read during 2009. Since then, I have struggled to write a review or response to it. This is the kind of book that you simply cannot boil down to a single theme without doing it a gross injustice. There’s a lot of meat here.

So, rather than give you a comprehensive review of all the principles presented in this book, let me share just a few observations about the book itself as well what I believe to be the most powerful truth presented within it. If you want more (and you should!) you'll have to read it yourself.

This is a book written to Christians who are committed to the church

If you are one of the many Christians in the world who have given up on “organized religion” then this book is not written to you. However, I believe that, if you are one of these people, this book just may change your mind.

In fact, one of the things I find the most powerful about this book is that it points out the flaw in how we operate as an organized church, but then shows how we have an obligation as Christians to commit to Jesus Christ’s church and apply the truths to change how we operate as a body of believers.

This is an incredibly practical book

I love a book that moves me; insightful and inspirational books are candy to me. However, on many occasions, a profound book can leave you feeling inspired and moved but without the tools to actually make that inspiration into something tangible in your life. Because of this, even powerful moving truths dissipate with time. Love Acceptance and Forgiveness kicks you in the rear in the first chapter and then spends the rest of the book telling you how that truth specifically applies to how we do church.

This is a book for today

While the truths in this book are timeless, especially those in the first chapter, this book is written specifically to the Church today.

What I believe to be the greatest insight of this book is found in the first chapter, “A Place Where People Are Made Whole”

“If the church—the living presence of Christ in His people—is to be the force for God in the world that it should be, it must learn to love people, accept them and forgive them…people need to be saved and brought to wholeness in every area of their lives. But before there can be a coming to wholeness, certain guarantees must be made to them. Otherwise, they will not risk opening themselves to us enough to receive healing.” [emp added]

If the sign-wielding, street corner evangelists and the modern repent-or-be-damned prophets (or people like me, for that matter) are any indication, Christians often believe that the world needs to be told that they are sinning. Jerry suggests that it is not enough for a Christian to simply preach a message of repentance. If the church is to truly be the presence of God in the world, it must demonstrate the sacrificial love modeled and preached by Jesus Christ himself. Until it does, it will never be an effective force for Christ in the world.

Jerry Cook defines love as a commitment to a person which is independent of emotion or circumstances. He describes this commitment in frightening detail:

“We need to extend this love to everyone: ‘I want you to know that I’m committed to you. You’ll never knowingly suffer at my hands. I’ll never say or do anything, knowingly to hurt you. I’ll always in every circumstance seek to help you and support you. If you’re down and I can lift you up, I’ll do that. Anything I have that you need, I’ll share with you; and if need be, I’ll give it to you. No matter what I find out about you and no matter what happens in the future, either good or bad, my commitment to you will never change. And there’s nothing you can do about it. You don’t have to respond. I love you, and that’s what it means.’” [emp added]

Instead of stopping with a personal exhortation, he places this truth as a filter upon how we operate as a church.

“When [people] say, ‘We’re going to write off the church, but we surely do love and believe in Jesus,’ something is seriously wrong.”

While many authors, unfortunately, merely criticize the church for not being like Christ, Jerry spends the rest of Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness demonstrating how, by simply shifting our understanding of the philosophy and function of the church to fit the principles set by Jesus Christ, principles of unwavering love, universal acceptance, and unconditional forgiveness, we can actually see the personality of Jesus reflected in His body.

And this is exciting.

--Sarah Elizabeth

Trust: I'm Not THAT Person

Yesterday I gave a quick overview of a few haphazard elements which have combined in an odd way to create my One Word 2011: Trust. It was a bit much for one post, even for me, so I've broken it up into a series of sorts. I start today with the most difficult one.


I'm a girl who likes to have it together. I struggle to admit I'm wrong, I hate having to ask for help, and I confess my struggles only after they have been "overcome." When confronted by a situation that I cannot handle or a goal I cannot meet, I’ll fight my way back to a situation I can control. I abandon goals, I deny my ineffectiveness, and I make to-do lists.


I have had friends and loved ones struggle with depression and anxiety. Through their pain, I've learned a lot about the illogical and overwhelming nature of depression. But  I've never been "that" person. I will shamefully admit that I always thought I was too strong and too "together."


However, for a few months now, my joy has gone AWOL, replaced by cynicism, bitterness, and fear. I don’t know if you’d call it loneliness, malcontent, doubt, or depression, but I have not been okay, and I haven’t had it together.


I hope you will believe me when I say, God is my life. This is why it is so devastating to feel that He has gone far, far away. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “you will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”


Was I not seeking Him with all of my heart? Which part was I withholding?


“All of it,” was the crushing answer. “You seek My ends, but not My means. You seek My Name but not My Life. You love My thoughts but not My ways. You seek Me through the filter of your own abilities, on your own terms, in your own timing. You withhold all of your heart from Me because you only offer it conditionally. I am a God without conditions.”


With all of this still churning inside me, I spent New Year’s Day reading The Hole in Our Gospel, a book by Richard Stearns, the president of World Vision.


In his book, Richard Stearns references a passage in Isaiah where the frustrated children of Israel cry out to God they too felt had gone far, far away:

“They seek me daily and delight to know My ways, as if they were a nation that did righteousness and did not forsake the judgment of their God; They ask of me righteous judgments; they delight to draw near to God. ‘Why have we fasted, and you see it not? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?’ Isaiah 58:2-3


“…Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? Then…you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’ Isaiah 58:6-9

(You ever have one of those, “Ohhhhhh…” moments?)

If you poked around this blog at all, you might notice that I have made something of a hobby out of humanitarianism. In theory, I avidly support the humanitarian work of organizations like Compassion International and World Vision. I pray, I give money, I blog, and I tweet.

Yet because of how He’s designed me, this isn’t enough for me. I’ve known this for a while; if I’m honest, I’ve known this since I was 12. Since then, my faith has gotten jammed up somewhere between His words and my life. It has gotten clogged by my inability to make my faith “work” and my unwillingness to let God work through my faith in His ability, on His terms, in His time.

James 2:26 compares a faith without works to a body without a spirit, a zombie. I don’t intend to get into a faith/works conversation except to say that the one simply cannot exist independent of the other, it just dies.

I can’t help but wonder if, lately, God just hasn’t allowed me to feel the dead weight of my faith. I wonder if He’s letting me feel the pain of an unfulfilled calling and an empty gospel. I wonder if He’s letting me see the way He would have me to worship Him.

“Is this not the fast that I choose…?” He says. “…then you shall call and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say ‘Here I am.’” Isaiah 58:9

Next Post: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

What I'm Reading Now

My lovely friend Krystal bought me coffee this morning (thank you m'love!) and I splurged on a Big Train Chai - No Sugar Added Vanilla Chai (12oz. Resealable Bag) latte with fat free milk, knowing full well that my tummy would punish me later. It was very yummy but I could only finish about half. So now I'm spending lunch time with an upset stomach. Why do I punish myself this way?

At any rate, instead of eating lunch I'm updating my Reads!

Since I completed Spring Quarter back in June I have been loving the opportunity to read books that I choose though I really did enjoy the required reading for my two courses. In particular, I really enjoyed Make No Law by Anthony Lewis. I highly recommend it! I actually read this book in about a week, mostly because I had procrastinated but it was a surprisingly easy read, given the content. I read Make No Law for a Poly-Sci class, and it made me want to dig out my old copy of Shadow by Bob Woodward. I read that my freshman year of community college and I just loved it. Oddly, this is my first political science class since then.

           

After wandering down this road just had to (finally) watch All the President's Men. After I got over my jealousy of Dustin Hoffman's girlish figure and beautiful hair, I loved it! I tell you, investigative journalists are right up there with secret agents in coolness.

But school's out for the summer! Huzzah!

My summer book choices, it seems, have been dictated by film and chance. In anticipation of the film, I read Alice's Adventure in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll (a selection by the 1001 group). Books: masterful; Movie: disappointing. I expected so much more from the magical Burton/Depp/Bonham-Carter trifecta. But the books were just great, it makes me sad that I waited this long to read them. Visit my Goodreads page to read my review.


The next book is, I admit a bit embarassing. Not the book itself but the impetus for reading it. As you are likely aware, a certain vampiric/lycanic tween phenomon birthed its latest installment upon the silver screen on June 30th. Try as I might to aggrandize my literary chops, I will never be able to ascape the dirty truth that I read the Twilight Saga...and I liked it. 


I can never run for office now.


They're like Peachie-O's or Pringles, I sit down to have a nice little indulgence and before you know it there are six empty containers on the floor or, rather, it's 2 am and I'm crying because Bella has broken poor Jacob's heart...again. Sickening.

But there may be a ray of light yet, as I do not have any desire to read Eclipse for the *cough*-th time. Instead, it was The Host, that I loaded onto my Kindle. I'm not sure what Stephenie Meyer is cutting in with her novels but it is probably with the same stuff with which Proctor & Gamble is lacing their peculiarly poppable potato-based snack. I admit that, afterward, I IMDB'd it to see when the film was coming out. I tell you, that woman is a Siren!

Speaking of books adapted for film, I have taken to listening to books on tape while I run so I've been "reading" Les Miserables for the past month as well. Gosh I love this book! If you've never read it, you really must. It's such a heroic picture of tragedy and grace, just lovely!

The last book came to me wrapped in a bit of serendipity. I just happened upon a copy of Notes from Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky at Goodwill for $.99. Obviously, Crime and Punishment is on pretty much every list of must-read books (saving those upon which the Twilight books also appear, when will we all learn to get along?) but I had heard the Dostoevsky is a bit cumbersome and had not yet read any of his work before. Thus, I was pleasantly suprised when I plowed through the first 5 chapters while sitting on a second-hand couch waiting for my mom and my grandma to finish shopping (We're big fans of Goodwill in my family).

I think that it was really providencial that this was my first Dostoevsky and I'm glad I didn't just dive into C & P without wading around in the shallow end first. It is pretty short (233 pages) and focuses generally in one direction (so far). It seems that Dostoevsky is fond of wandering around in his musings with very loose direction. I really think that Notes from Underground is very much like what one would encounter if they took a peek in my head. There are some organized thoughts and general themes, but there are millions of neurological pathways that meander, noodle-like, through these themes without an apparent destination. Narcissist that I am, I like anything that reminds me of myself, so I'm enjoying it!


Don't you fear, I am still slowly reading Middlemarch by George Eliot and  Confessions by St. Augustine. These are great books but more marathon than weekend reads.


Visit my Goodreads page to see what I'm reading now.

          And that's it for me! So many books, so little time...

Make No Law: The Sullivan Case and the First Amendment

Just posted a quick review of Make No Law: The Sullivan Case and the First Amendment by Anthony Lewis to my Goodreads account I was swimming in legalese, libel, and legislature but loved (almost) every minute of it. Who says school isn't fun? Check it out here!

Book Reviews

I've still yet to officially review Anna or The Hiding Place. Apologies. But, in the spirit of progress, I'd like to recommend a couple new and short reads to you:

1. Where Love Is, There God is Also, a nice and quick introduction to the writings of Tolstoy, one of the most celebrated authors of all time. A nice side note for those of us in the "Christ Camp" is that one of Tolstoy's chief struggles in life was in regard to his faith, so many of his writings include vicarious debates and musings. Thus we get to read some incredible philosophizing on these concepts while enjoying his mad literary skills. Though I'd of course be the last to brag, he's also a nice rebuttal example when the haters bring up Hitler, and the KKK. Home team.
2. The Funeral Oration of Pericles, if you have even the remotest interest in the foundation of the formation of the United States of America or of democracy give this a read. Even as a bit of a closet pacifist, I found it stirring. But if Pericles doesn't grab you, try The Gettysburg Address. Lincoln was one of those gods of oration that truly mastered brevity, and this is a staple in the literary canon that every American simply must read and if the last time you read it was in 8th grade, you must read it again (incidentally, I finally had to google how many years were in a "score.").

For more, read my post on my Book Reviews.

Lepanto

It has been far too long since I've posted anything new, a thousand apologies. I am dismally behind on too many things, to be honest. At the risk of sounding like I'm making excuses, I should mention that I just started classes three weeks ago and I've also spent the past week on big home improvement project (almost done! I have pictures documenting the whole agonizing process). But I did want to share a great poem that I read today.

This is Lepanto by G.K. Chesterton, one of my very favorite authors (poets, journalists, political commentators, etc). I'm not familiar with the history of the battle aside from what I could glean from Wikipedia on the fly, but, in brief, The Battle of Lepanto was a naval battle which took place near Greece in 1571 between the "Holy League" (an alliance of forces backed by the papacy) and the Ottoman navy. Gil always seems captures the heroic imagery of a battle without muddying the experience with excess blood and death. All the glamour with none of the reality, a nice little fantasy really. Now the pacifist in me is making me uncomfortable so this is the end of the commentary.

At any rate here's Lepanto:

White founts falling in the courts of the sun,
And the Soldan of Byzantium is smiling as they run,
There is laughter like the fountains in that face of all men feared,
It stirs the forest darkness, the darkness of his beard,
It curls the blood-red crescent, the crescent of his lips,
For the inmost sea of all the earth is shaken with his ships.
They have dared the white republics up the capes of Italy,
They have dashed the Adriatic round the Lion of the Sea,
And the Pope has cast his arms abroad for agony and loss,
And called the kings of Christendom for swords about the Cross,
The cold queen of England is looking in the glass;
The shadow of the Valois is yawning at the Mass;
From evening isles fantastical rings faint the Spanish gun,
And the Lord upon the Golden Horn is laughing in the sun.

Dim drums throbbing, in the hills half heard,
Where only on a nameless throne a crownless prince has stirred,
Where, risen from a doubtful seat and half attainted stall,
The last knight of Europe takes weapons from the wall,
The last and lingering troubadour to whom the bird has sung,
That once went singing southward when all the world was young,
In that enormous silence, tiny and unafraid,
Comes up along a winding road the noise of the Crusade.
Strong gongs groaning as the guns boom far,
Don John of Austria is going to the war,
Stiff flags straining in night-blasts cold
In the gloom black-purple, in the glint old-gold.

Torchlight crimson on the copper kettle-drums,
Then the tuckets, then the trumpets, then the cannon, and he comes.
Don John laughing in the brave beard curled,
Spurning of his stirrups like the thrones of all the world.
Holding his head up for a flag of all the free.
Love-light of Spain - hurrah!
Death-light of Africa!
Don John of Austria
Is riding to the sea.

Mahound is in his paradise above the evening star,
(Don John of Austria is going to the war.)
He moves a mighty turban on the timeless houri's knees,
His turban that is woven of the sunset and the seas.
He shakes the peacock gardens as he rises from his ease,
And he strides among the tree-tops and is taller than the trees,
And his voice through all the garden is a thunder sent to bring
Black Azrael and Ariel and Ammon on the wing.
Giants and the Genii,
Multiplex of wing and eye,
Whose strong obedience broke the sky
When Solomon was king.

They rush in red and purple from the red clouds of the morn,
From temples where the yellow gods shut up their eyes in scorn;
They rise in green robes roaring from the green hells of the sea
Where fallen skies and evil hues and eyeless creatures be;
On them the sea-valves cluster and the grey sea-forests curl,
Splashed with a splendid sickness, the sickness of the pearl;
They swell in sapphire smoke out of the blue cracks of the ground,-
They gather and they wonder and give worship to Mahound.
And he saith, 'Break up the mountains where the hermit-folk can hide,
And sift the red and silver sands lest bone of saint abide,
And chase the Giaours flying night and day, not giving rest,
For that which was our trouble comes again out of the west.
We have set the seal of Solomon on all things under sun,
Of knowledge and of sorrow and endurance of things done.
But a noise is in the mountains, in the mountains, and I know
The voice that shook our palaces - four hundred years ago:
It is he that saith not 'Kismet'; it is he that knows not Fate;
It is Richard, it is Raymond, it is Godfrey at the gate!
It is he whose loss is laughter when he counts the wager worth,
Put down your feet upon him, that our peace be on the earth.'
For he heard drums groaning and he heard guns jar,
(Don John of Austria is going to the war.)
Sudden and still - hurrah!
Bolt from Iberia!
Don John of Austria
Is gone by Alcalar.

St Michael's on his Mountain in the sea-roads of the north
(Don John of Austria is girt and going forth.)
Where the grey seas glitter and the sharp tides shift
And the sea-folk labour and the red sails lift.
He shakes his lance of iron and he claps his wings of stone;
The noise is gone through Normandy; the noise is gone alone;
The North is full of tangled things and texts and aching eyes,
And dead is all the innocence of anger and surprise,
And Christian killeth Christian in a narrow dusty room,
And Christian dreadeth Christ that hath a newer face of doom,
And Christian hateth Mary that God kissed in Galilee,
But Don John of Austria is riding to the sea.
Don John calling through the blast and the eclipse
Crying with the trumpet, with the trumpet of his lips,
Trumpet that sayeth ha!
Domino gloria!
Don John of Austria
Is shouting to the ships.

King Philip's in his closet with the Fleece about his neck
(Don John of Austria is armed upon the deck.)
The walls are hung with velvet that is black and soft as sin,
And little dwarfs creep out of it and little dwarfs creep in.
He holds a crystal phial that has colours like the moon,
He touches, and it tingles, and he trembles very soon,
And his face is as a fungus of a leprous white and grey
Like plants in the high houses that are shuttered from the day,
And death is in the phial, and the end of noble work,
But Don John of Austria has fired upon the Turk.
Don John's hunting, and his hounds have bayed -
Booms away past Italy the rumour of his raid.
Gun upon gun, ha! ha!
Gun upon gun, hurrah!
Don John of Austria
Has loosed the cannonade.

The Pope was in his chapel before day or battle broke,
(Don John of Austria is hidden in the smoke.)
The hidden room in man's house where God sits all the year,
The secret window whence the world looks small and very dear.
He sees as in a mirror on the monstrous twilight sea
The crescent of his cruel ships whose name is mystery;
They fling great shadows foe-wards, making Cross and Castle dark,
They veil the plumèd lions on the galleys of St Mark;
And above the ships are palaces of brown, black-bearded chiefs,
And below the ships are prisons, where with multitudinous griefs,
Christian captives, sick and sunless, all a labouring race repines
Like a race in sunken cities, like a nation in the mines.
They are lost like slaves that sweat, and in the skies of morning hung
The stair-ways of the tallest gods when tyranny was young.
They are countless, voiceless, hopeless as those fallen or fleeing on
Before the high Kings' horses in the granite of Babylon.
And many a one grows witless in his quiet room in hell
Where a yellow face looks inward through the lattice of his cell,
And he finds his God forgotten, and he seeks no more a sign -
(But Don John of Austria has burst the battle-line!)
Don John pounding from the slaughter-painted poop,
Purpling all the ocean like a bloody pirate's sloop,
Scarlet running over on the silvers and the golds,
Breaking of the hatches up and bursting of the holds,
Thronging of the thousands up that labour under sea
White for bliss and blind for sun and stunned for liberty.
Vivat Hispania!
Domino Gloria!
Don John of Austria
Has set his people free!

Cervantes on his galley sets the sword back in the sheath
(Don John of Austria rides homeward with a wreath.)
And he sees across a weary land a straggling road in Spain,
Up which a lean and foolish knight forever rides in vain,
And he smiles, but not as Sultans smile, and settles back the blade...
(But Don John of Austria rides home from the Crusade.)

Book Review in Progress: Middlemarch

I am currently wading my way through Middlemarch by George Eliot (Marian Evans). I chose to read this book somewhat arbitrarily after I finished Anna Karenina and A Study in Scarlet (I had just watched the new Sherlock Holmes). Incidentally, if you're looking for a somewhat quick read that still engages your brain, give Sir Arthur Conan Doyle a try. There are endless short story options as well a full length novels (including A Study in Scarlet) and the premise of the Sherlock Holmes story is well known enough that you do not need much of a back-story.

At any rate, after surmounting Tolstoy's monstrous pinnacle, I freely admit I was looking to turn off my brain for a bit. I absolutely loved Anna, but she wore me out. So much so, that I even considered taking a detour into Forks for a few weeks but resisted the temptation (and the angels rejoiced). So after considering Chesterton (decidedly lighthearted with that lovely talent of turning mac and cheese into nouilles et fromage en casserole, which is, I think, a talent reserved for British authors) and Dickens, who is likely my favorite author. But I had just read Great Expectations by the latter and I'm really not sure why I passed up Chesterton but at any rate, after a few weeks of searching for a lighter, shorter, less character-driven novel than Anna, I decided to read Middlemarch.

???

Could I have picked anything less appropriate? Over 900 pages long, this novel is a subtle and quiet kind of story painted against the backdrop of the tedious banalities of a Victorian province, Middlemarch. An that is how the story feels at first glance, tedious and banal. I can see how this tediously banal, backdrop is essential to tell Evan/Eliot's story but, heaven help me! I have prided myself on my ability to endure what lesser folk would call 'boring.' I admit I was taken down a few notches, which is really very good for my character. I had to force myself to continue by sheer tenacity, but, oh, I am glad that I did!

This particular passage just made me giddy and I very nearly dropped my precious kindle and did a happy dance.

We are not afraid of telling over and over again how a man comes to fall in love with a woman and be wedded to her, or else be fatally parted from her. Is it due to excess of poetry or of stupidity that we are never weary of describing what King James called a woman's "makdom and her fairnesse," never weary of listening to the twanging of the old Troubadour strings, and are comparatively uninterested in that other kind of "makdom and fairness" which must be wooed with industrious thought and patient renunciation of small desires? In the story of this passion, too, the development varies: sometimes it is the glorious marriage, sometimes frustration and final parting.

The appeal here for me is manifold, not the least of which is the description of woman's enchanting nature upon man. Liberated and enlightened as she may be, a girl still appreciates that. Vanity aside, the description of our romantically sympathetic nature delighting in the "twanging of the old Troubadour strings," placed against our relative disinterest in those other pursuits which, unlike Love, are won not by slaying dragons and seeking treasure but rather by "industrious thought and patient renunciation of small desires" is positively masterful. Placing the two side by side as she does makes us recognize how we are simultaneously wooing Love and wooing Life and are dismally less interested in the latter.

She continues:

And not seldom the catastrophe is bound up with the other passion, sung by the Troubadours. For in the multitude of middle-aged men who go about their vocations in a daily course determined for them much in the same way as the tie of their cravats, there is always a good number who once meant to shape their own deeds and alter the world a little. The story of their coming to be shapen after the average and fit to be packed by the gross, is hardly ever told even in their consciousness; for perhaps their ardor in generous unpaid toil cooled as imperceptibly as the ardor of other youthful loves, till one day their earlier self walked like a ghost in its old home and made the new furniture ghastly.

That middle-life frustration that may or may not lead to the crisis is the fruit of just such a Scrooge-esque encounter between a man and the ghost of "Aspirations-Past." The real tragedy is not just the disappointment of a man's expectations but the realization that the world is utterly indifferent to it. Of course this tragedy applies to both sexes, especially today, but it seems to be felt more intensely by the male half of the species. I will not, at present, venture to guess why but it seems to make the sufferer even more pitiable.

She walks, perfectly balanced, upon the fine line between poetic metaphor and practical analysis:

Nothing in the world more subtle than the process of their gradual change! In the beginning they inhaled it unknowingly: you and I may have sent some of our breath towards infecting them, when we uttered our conforming falsities or drew our silly conclusions; or perhaps it came with the vibrations from a woman's glance.

This is a neat idea, the spread of conformity and degeneration of innovation through infection. It paints a more depressing picture than perhaps is accurate but is definitely a well suited backdrop for the story being told. So I trudge onward through the desolate landscape of Middlemarch hoping to find more pieces of treasure hidden in the dust along the way.

In His grace,

Sarah Elizabeth