Trust Curveball Redux

Exactly one year ago, my nine month old nephew, Isaiah, was at Sacred Heart Children's hospital in Spokane in kidney failure. He was on 24 hour dialysis, and had about seven different tubes leading in and out of his 20 pound body and his best hope was a non-FDA approved test drug that cost $2500 a dose. The 5 weeks in the hospital put him behind developmentally and he had to go to three different types of therapy every week.

Today his AHUS is in complete remission, his bimonthly treatments are FDA approved and also covered by insurance. He's a healthy, happy, walking and talking 21 month old.

Read about Isaiah's initial hospitalization here: Trust: A Curveball

One Word 2011: Review

Last January, as a follow to choosing One Word 2011: Trust, I went through a series of posts about what that meant in the present and what I thought it meant for the future. These posts ruminated through a variety of different subjects (money, culture, insecurity, depression, vision).

It was a haphazard mix of things that God was turning over in my soul, observations about the world, and things that scared the crap out of me. But in every area, God was asking me the same questions: "Do you trust the call I put on your life? Do you trust me to take you somewhere new?"

This culminated in a list of "I am going to," statements. Looking back, I think these are too much like the resolutions that I am trying so hard to avoid, so I'm not going to repeat this practice this year. But, because God deserves mad props for this, here is the best one:

"I am going back to Haiti."

Of all of my "I am going to," statements, this is one that I actually believe was a promise from God. He made me this promise in January. In July, I was invited to visit Haiti with Compassion International...with 3 weeks to raise $1500. By September, God had completely funded my trip and plane tickets with $700 to spare, and, on November 14th, I was in Haiti.

Tomorrow, I am going to share some thoughts about the upcoming year and One Word 2012: Surrender.

Links to last year's posts are below (each post links to the following post).

The Highlights
I'm Not THAT Person
Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
A Culture of Affluence
A Curveball
What's Your Angle? Part One
What's Your Angle? Part Two
Continuing the Journey

One Word: Out of the same mouth

In the midst of my search this past month, I stumbled across post on a blog that I half-heartedly follow. It is one of those inspirational blogs full of poetry, confusing symbolism and google-poached photos...

Um...

But I've recently become aware of an underlying current of hostility and bitterness in the tone. I'm not sure if the tone has changed or I've just become more sensitive to it recently, but it's a bizarre juxtaposition to be sure. Why would you preach love and grace one day and judgement and cynicism the next?

Two things came violently to the front of my mind as I read this post.

First, James 3:8-10: 

"No man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so."

Immediately after this, I realized that this is me.

Then come the questions: Who are you serving? What are you called to do? Who are you called to love? What is the purpose and product of your words? To whom do they belong?

Surrender.

Surrender your spring to fresh water or yield to salty. 

Wisdom: Giving In

"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy." James 3:17

Surrender

What's yours?

One Word 2012

The last hours of 2011 are whispering by, are you still thinking about your One Word? I suspect I have found mine though it needs a bit more time to cook. 

I'll give you a few options:

• Humility
• Commit
• Surrender

These are all, in some way, built off of One Word 2011, Trust, a work that is in no way complete. I've wondered if it is necessary for each Word to build off of the ones before it, if it is a reflection of my AR tendencies or simply a natural product of a progressive life. What do you think? Do your words build on one another?

Each of these words also represent a fairly significant work in me at the present, but I'm not sure if that is something that will carry through for the whole year. Hmm.

What are some of your options?

I set My Face as Flint

The Lord God is with me, therefore I have not been disgraced. I shall set my face like a flint and I know that I shall not be put to shame, Isaiah 50:7

One of the greatest challenges to choosing a single word for the year is narrowing it down to a single word. I think of it like a piece of flint that is chipped away until it reaches a razor edge. See, in addition to its firestarting properties, flint can be used as a cutting tool. In fact, this was the tool Joshua used in Joshua 5:3 to circumcise the children of Israel before the entered the Promised Land.

So, why the awkward reference, Sarah?

Biblically speaking, the process of circumcision symbolized a removal of the old dead flesh,

"Circumcise, therefore, the foreskin of your heart, and be stiff-necked no longer," Deuteronomy 10:16

"In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the sins of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ." Colossians 2:11

This process wasn't possible (or was made painful or dangerous) without a sharp piece of flint. The idea of setting your face like flint implies sharp, unwavering focus. Like a surgeon's scalpel or Joshua's flint knives, One Word is a tool that can be used to excise the old, dead parts of yourself, but it has to have a finely honed edge to be effective.

If you read my last post about One Word, you may be getting a mixed message here. A few weeks ago, I talked about how full-sentence (or longer) vision statements are too specific, and trimming it down to a single word broadens the field for God to work, and now I am talking about how your word has to have a sharp focus.

Nonspecific, yet focused?

Yes.

See, the beauty of choosing a One Word, His Word for you, for the year is that, because you are submitting to God's hand, you open the door to anything He brings. It is like the taproot of a huge tree, the width of the trunk, the spread of the branches, these are not part of your focus. They are His, you only look to the one thing.

One Word 2012

Believe it or not, the final grains of the 2011 hourglass are slipping away. As anticipation builds for new beginnings in 2012 and, of course, the end of the world, I am very happy to kick off the search for One Word 2012!

But, what is this thing you speak of, Sarah? One Word is an alternative to the traditional New Year's Resolution. Instead of making a doomed declaration of all the things you're (not) going to do in the upcoming year, you choose a one-word theme for the year.

Feel free to poke around in the One Word posts of yore here.

This idea was inspired by a conversation between Dan Britton, Executive Vice President of Ministry Programs for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and one of his close friends during a car drive (I'm convinced that the atmosphere inside of a car is a powerful and mysterious catalyst for inspiration). I originally read about it on the blog for Compassion International. You can read Dan's full description here, but let me just give you the highlights.

The idea is to spend a good piece of time reflecting about your life and praying for vision about the upcoming year. Then, with more prayer and reflection, you attempt to distill that idea to a single word. Just one word, not a sentence or phrase, and no hyphens allowed. Narrowing down the theme of an entire year to one word can be incredibly difficult and frustrating, I promise you that it is worth the effort.

See, the more words you use to describe your theme, the greater the odds that your vision is too narrow. For example, you could say that, in 2012, God is going to teach you have to have a better work ethic and to give 100% at your job. But that focuses too tightly on a single point of your life, much like a New Year's resolution, putting God on a leash. You see, you think that you just need to learn to work harder while God wants to show you a much bigger truth about joy and contentment.

Obviously, God is not going to be limited by your short leash, but, by being to so specific, you risk blinding yourself to the greater work that He is doing. And, believe me, you won't want to miss it.

For example, in 2011, my word was "trust." I thought that "trust" had to do with taking risks with my career and my future, but God wanted to show me a much richer, more intimate truths about his trustworthiness. I had no idea the things that God was turn over in my life or the promises that He would make to me. But more on that another day!

I love doing this every year and I really hope you'll do it with me!

Trust: Continuing the Journey

Thank you so much for going with me on this journey toward Trust. I've enjoyed sharing the experience.

Here's a quick recap of the past three weeks:

I don't trust God.

One Word 2011: Trust

Trust: A Curveball

I've created a false image of God

Trust: I'm Not THAT Person

I am afraid of not having money

Trust: Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?
I live in a "Culture of Affluence" and I'm not okay with that.

Trust: A Culture of Affluence

I must write to worship God; I worship God with my writing

Trust: What's Your Angle?

I love Jesus, writing, kids, reading, music, and coffee; but these are not the reason I write. 
Trust: What's Your Angle? Part Two

So I've the established the "I am"s but today I wanted to share with you the "I am going to"s (though I refuse to call them resolutions).

I am going to... learn to trust God.

I am going to... learn to see God as He is and as He would have me to be.

I am going to... learn to live free from my circumstances.
I am going to... break free of my culture and climb over cultural barriers.
I am going to... write His words with my voice.

And here's a new one:

I am going back to Haiti. Soon.

If you'll reach back with me to day one of this journey you might recall this statement. Or not. It doesn't matter, I'm pasting it here.

"I can’t help but wonder if, lately, God just hasn't allowed me to feel the dead weight of my faith. I wonder if He’s letting me feel the pain of an unfulfilled calling and an empty gospel. I wonder if He’s letting me see the way He would have me to worship Him."

I will occasionally mention the kids you can sponsor through Compassion International and World Vision and I also talk about Haiti quite a bit. These are things that are very close to my heart, I love these ministries and I've been telling people for a while now that my dream job would be work with a similar organization to help bridge that gap, caused by our culture of affluence, between sponsors and the children they support. Of course I'd do this wherever God sent me.

But I want to go to Haiti.

Haiti is a beautiful tropical country in the Caribbean ravaged by corrupt and broken governance, ignorant and unsustainable farming methods, empty superstitions, and objectification and exploitation of children and the poor. These problems have been amplified by perennial hurricanes and a devastating earthquake in 2010. It is also less than an hour's flight away from Miami.

The people of Haiti have a ragged history of slavery, tyranny, and a desperate fight to find and preserve their cultural identity. They are downtrodden, but they are resilient.

Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Isa 35:3

The people of Haiti don't need to be bailed out. They don't need charity. They need people committed to standing with them as they strengthen their hands and feet. They need true compassion and long-suffering love as only Jesus can offer.

I've wanted to go back to Haiti since the moment I got on the plane back to Miami. But I've let it remain one of those things that "couldn't" happen. Until recently.

A few months ago I was presented with an opportunity to study abroad for a month this summer in Switzerland. This 4 week study on intercultural communications and tourism included trips to Munich, Paris, and Florence.

Heck. Yes.

It also cost over $4,000 plus airfare to Switzerland. Oh...

But I knew my God was a God who provided and this was a big, shiny, exciting door in front of me, so I decided I'd go ahead and knock. Yet, as I walked my way through the process, more and more I had a sense that maybe this wasn't something that should be part of my life right now. As I experienced greater levels of general unrest. I began to be more sure that, though my heart was to bridge cultural gaps, taking a tour of Europe wasn't where I was going to learn how to do that. Not this time.

Fortunately for me, that shiny, exciting door stayed firmly closed so I was saved from having to voluntarily decide not to go to Europe. That honestly makes me happy, bruised pride notwithstanding.

Because I want to go back to Haiti.

More importantly, I truly believe this is where God wants me to be. This is how He wants to teach me to Trust. This is how He wants to teach me to be free of my circumstances.

I am so unbelievably tired of living my risk-free life and filtering God's plans for me on my terms. I am tired of not trusting Him. I am not sure how I'm going to learn to really trust Him with my life and I have no idea when, for how long or by what means I'm going back to Haiti.

But I'm a-going!

Thanks again for sharing this journey with me.

Trust: What's Your Angle? Part Two

Installment six of my series on One Word 2011: Trust.

Yesterday I share a few of the insecurities I've faced regarding what we in the church crew like to call my "calling" (psst, Sarah, everyone calls it that). I, in my insecurity, have wondered if my words matter, if they are useful to God and if anyone will ever read them. But, regardless of the size of my audience or the prestige it brings, God does have a use for my many, many words, and He, by simply caring about them, ascribes significance to them. And that significance is not simply validating, it breathes life into my frightened, wound-up little soul.

Relax, little one, you matter to me.

That I must write may be established but then, how do I do it?

I bounced around the edges of the blogging pool during my first few years mostly because, if I'm honest, I was afraid to find I was just another voice in the clamor. But I've gradually begun to explore the deep end and I've found that its very interesting here. My first observation was that there were so many different categories of blogs out there, techie blogs, coffee blogs, mommy blogs, Jesus blogs, satire blogs, humanitarian blogs, gluten-free blogs, dog-lover blogs... every blog has a unique platform. This is simultaneously fascinating and terrifying.

A blog, like any self-initiated public venture, brings with it the pressure to stand out. You may have a great deal to say, but if you don't have a hook no one will pause long enough to listen to it. Each author has to have an "angle." If you're a staff writer for an established publication, you're staking your paycheck on your ability to say something important in an interesting way. When you're blogging for yourself, you're doing something a whole lot more frightening.

A personal blog is a way to, essentially, publish yourself. You put the best parts of you onto an electronic billboard and ask the world to care about it. By seeking out a clever angle, you essentially find a way to trim the fat and say "This is the core of who I am wrapped in a quirky, eye-catching frame. Please find it interesting. Please listen to what I have to say."

Once I realized that I had no angle besides the Sarah Elizabeth angle (I'm not sure what kind of audience there is for that...) I started to panic. I thought what is it that makes me different? What makes me me? How can I publish my overflowing thoughts in a way that will make people care? My search for an interesting angle transformed into a search for myself. I got overwhelmed in the tide of self-doubt, so I did what I always do when I get panicky and overwhelmed: I made a list.

Who Am I?

• I love Jesus (but there are already a million Jesus blogs out there, scratch that)
• I love child-focused humanitarian organizations like Compassion and World Vision (aw, but they have staff writers and I haven't even been to visit a Project, scratch that)
• I love kids in general (but you can't have a mommy blog unless you're a mommy)
• I love reading (but you have to finish books to blog about them, scratch that)
• I love music (but I don't even want to try to put myself up against the music gurus out there!)
• I love coffee (but I'm not a connisseur, and I don't really want to be)
• I love like running

(did I really just strikethrough Jesus?)

As the list went on yielding empty idea after empty idea, my panic deepened and I began to question whether or not I even mattered as a person. I was utterly un-unique. One-dimensional, no angles. I don't know if there is any fear so paralyzing as the fear that you have to make something of yourself and you simply don't have good enough materials. Like trying to make an evening dress out of cuts of meat (...wait).

About the time that my panic was reaching clinical levels, God, as He so often does, grabbed my cheeks in his huge palms and reminded me

"we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Cor 4:7

I am nothing. I have no angles. I am an empty, rough, unglazed, earthen jar. But I am filled to overflowing with  molten gold. I am filled with fragrant Nard, the aroma of life. The balm inside me heals the world. I am one of a thousand voices, but we are all One Eternal Spirit. The excellence of the treasure inside me does not depend on the vessel administering it to the world.

And I have been chosen.

This is not to say that creativity, humor, cleverness, and ingenuity do not have importance. On the contrary, we are all stewards of the capacities that God has given to us. But we must, I must, understand that He is the potter in this story. There is no need to make this vessel interesting because God has already made it; He continues to remake and refine it. And the treasure inside spills out a little more with each turn of the Wheel.

So I rest (almost) comfortably in His hands, eager to see the craftsmanship, but no so eager that I jump off of the table.

There's a short little refrain included on Aaron Shust's album, Anything Worth Saying that, by no intention of my own, has became a sort of heart-prayer for me every time I sit down to write.

"Give me words to speak, don't let my spirit sleep, because I can't think of anything worth saying..."

Find your voice. Say His words.



Next Post: Continuing the Journey

Trust: What's Your Angle? Part One

Installment five of my series on One Word 2011: Trust. A little behind schedule but I'm okay with that considering the crazy week I've had.

I've been writing bits and pieces in this space for over 3 years now. When I started I didn't have a whole lot of practical direction, I just wanted to spread some good news about love. You can read the long version by clicking on Welcome to Love up above.

The short version is that I saw a lot of hate and judgment in the airwaves, even (most unacceptably) from the followers of Christ. I started to think about the winsome nature of God's grace and love and how those of us who take on the name of Christ also take on the responsibility to love as God loves. Colossians 1:13 describes this love in a beautiful way:

He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love.

This is our ministry: we are roadsigns, we are ushers, we are Wal~Mart greeters beckoning the lost, hurting, and needy into that place of love. The good news that the Kingdom of the Son of God is a much happier place than Wal~Mart.

What started out as something I just wanted to try out has grown into something more, a compulsion you could even say. I find that I absolutely love writing, and not just writing but writing to people. That may sound silly, isn't most writing intended to be read? Let me explain...

I love playing music, classically as well as worship, but honestly I'm okay just doing that alone in my bedroom for the rest of my life. I also like running but I'm okay running on a dirt road by myself not even keeping track of how far I'm going. Sometimes you write in a journal or notebook simply for the joy of writing, never caring if or never wanting someone to read it.

I'm not okay if someone doesn't read my writing.

I've struggled with that a bit, because it seems selfish and vain. But what I'm learning is that, while we are all called to the same thing, the love God and to love one another (Luke 10:27), we all do that in different ways.

I love God with my writing, I love others through my writing.

This does not mean that there is only one way each of us can show love, but God, creative guy that He is, designs us each to love him in a unique way. Beautiful as a duet of violins can be, it cannot compare to the richness of a string quartet which in turn cannot compete with the overwhelming sound of a full orchestra. We're all playing the same song, we're just playing a different part.

But there is a Part Two to this particular story: what happens when you don't have an audience for your music? What if you aren't part of the Philharmonic Orchestra or what if you're not published? What if only 3 people read your blog?

This is a legitimate concern because, no matter how well we express our love in our giftings, if no one receives that love, there is a problem. However we have to be careful that we don't equate three people or even one person with "no one". We we  to use God's standards to measure the effectiveness of our ministry, because it is, in fact, His ministry. If God wants to minister to one particular person and wants to do it through you, then that, my friend, is not our business. We do not have the authority to question His purposes.

We may plant, we may water, and we certainly had better make sure to do those things with excellence, but remember that God brings the increase (1 Cor 3:7).

This is an important lesson to me, because I sometimes feel like I am just throwing my heart out there like waves breaking upon a beach, and the beach is deserted. But the waves keep coming whether or not there is anyone there to enjoy them. When someone walks by and smiles, pulls out a camera to watch their child play in the surf, or runs down the beach with a board under their arm, they aren't thinking about the millions of waves that washed unseen upon the sand, they are simply enjoying them. But if the ocean suddenly grew tired of casting wave after wave upon an empty shore and gave up, then when someone did finally walk by they would be disappointed.

Likewise, if you decide to give up on loving because you cannot see the effect, then when someone does wander by, you truly will be pointless. Likewise, don't worry about the amount of love your throw out into the world that goes unnoticed or seems pointless, you can just consider it practice for when someone happens to walk by. Besides, even if you never get to see your audience, you know that there is One who always sees.

So be blessed, my seemingly insignificant friend. Significance is indeed in the Eye of the Beholder.


 Next Post: What's Your Angle? Part 2

Trust: A Curveball.

I took an unplanned 2 day vacation. The truth is my world has kind of turned a little upside down for the past few days. Early Saturday morning I got a phone call from my mom saying that my brother and sister had taken my 9 month old nephew, Isaiah, to the emergency room. Isaiah had been having some trouble with his kidneys for the past few days and was now not able to keep any food down. At the hospital, they diagnosed him with Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome, this basically means that tiny blood clots were forming in his kidneys and there was also damage to his red blood cells and the damaged cells were also clogging his kidneys. This was resulting in a low RBC count and kidney failure. They didn't know what was causing this condition but it was bad enough that they decided to airlift him to a specialist at a larger hospital.

Over the course of the next 3 or 4 days we found out that Isaiah actually has Atypical Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome, an autoimmune disease caused by a genetic mutation. This means that there is no external trigger for his HUS, his own body was creating the problem and, since there was no problem (Isaiah's own genes are the problem) there was no solution.

This all sounds very dire and scary, so I should also mention that, at the hospital where Isaiah is, there are straight-up amazing doctors. Almost immediately they were talking about treatment options, and Isaiah has already received one round of these treatments and is responding well. Also of note are the incredible number of prayers that have lifted on his behalf, if you're a prayer, I'd be incredibly blessed if you were counted in this number. But, by far, the most important factor in this situation is not the severity or rarity of the disease, the very talented doctors, or even number of people praying, but rather the incomparable hugeness of the God who designed his little genetically-mutated body.

That said, I still have fear and I have doubt. I realized a few days into this crisis that, though I had been praying, I did not believe that God was going to heal Isaiah. I have blogged over the past couple of days on the journey God and I are on toward Trust. I'm still finding my footing and I didn't realize I was going to get such a huge a curveball quite so early in this game.

In fact, I hadn't realized how this situation was even relevant until Tuesday night as I was talking to my friend, Whitney. Earlier that day, I had finally realized that I was not praying in faith and that the cynical part of my heart didn't actually believe there was any miracle on the way for Isaiah. We had a very honest and encouraging conversation about fear and trust and later she wrote the following. I wanted to share it with you because it reminded me how much of a good, compassionate, and trustworthy God we have..

I had a thought today. It was interesting the way it happened, really. I was coming back from the Cookie Mill with some wonderful people and one of my friends just simply rubbed my back as I walked by. As she did that I realized how tense I actually am right now. Her gentle touch almost immediately relaxed me and simply reminded me to stop and breathe a little.

A couple minutes later I was talking on the phone with my very dear friend Sarah and she was mentioning how fear is able to grab a hold of us and we don't realize it until the Lord gives us a reminder of who He is in the midst of that fear. I was immediately reminded of the touch from my friend. Sometimes we allow our hearts to become so tense with fear and we don't even realize it's happening until God gently reaches down and touches us. It might be through a kind word from someone, a song, a Scripture verse, or yes, a touch from a friend. Whatever it is, God is reaching out to touch. And that touch is not condemning or even correcting. 

The touch is more like a gentle mother softly caressing her child. Or like my own mother, tenderly rubbing the leg of her precious little grandson till he fell asleep in the hospital. God, our Father is reaching out to us to bring comfort and peace when we are hurting, worried, afraid, or confused. His touch brings refreshing and renewal. It brings hope and sustains us. His touch brings life.

Whenever we face a crisis, we have a series of decisions before us and are generally bombarded by information. It is in the midst of this tornado of facts, truth, perceptions, opinions, and experiences that we have to decide how and where we're going to walk. All of the truths God has established by His Word and through our experiences are called into question by the strange circumstances and all the conflicting and confusing realities they bring.

Walking in faith then becomes a process of drawing out the truth of who we know God to be and allowing that to be the reality in which we operate. Because if He is an omnipotent, eternal, and unchangeable God, then the reality of who He is can't change with our circumstances. Walking in faith means that we place the eternal truth of God's nature above our changeable circumstances. This can be incredibly difficult when the "realness" of our circumstances is slapping us in the face every moment. That still small voice, is easily drowned out in the tornado (1 Ki 19:12).

What my very wise friend Whit is saying here is that there are times when we allow the fear and uncertainty of our circumstances to creep in until we are so tightly bound up in them that we are not allowing ourselves to experience the peace and security God offers us. In those moments God reaches in through the storm and quietly touches us, reminding us that He's still there, He hasn't changed and He does care. But we have to be willing to hear that. We have to be willing to walk as if we believed it.

She also posted this video. It's an amazing reminder not just that God cares about this particular situation and that He has power over this particular situation, but that God has established a pattern of love, compassion, and trustworthiness since day one of creation. The climax of God's love for us; His goodness, justice, and mercy; and His incredibly faithfulness, was Him coming down personally to rescue me from my sin. A God that comes from glory to shame, from perfection to humanity, and from life to death, does not suddenly change His nature.

Whatever situation you are facing, God has already established His love, compassion, and faithfulness. Be encouraged.

And pray for little Isaiah.

Next Post: What's Your Angle? 

Trust: A Culture of Affluence

If you've poked around this blog at all you may have gotten the impression that I have a bit of a "thing" for helping the poor. It's true, I'm just a nice person like that. But the real truth is that, though I sponsor a child through Compassion International and, technically, I am an Advocate for the same, my world is very insulated from the poor.

For the past decade or so, the term global village, has been thrown around quite a bit. The term describes a concept of global, international, cross-cultural unity that is made possible through world-wide network of communications technology. The Internet and the world wide web have brought this concept closer to realization than ever before. But still, a global village is far from a reality. The social, linguistic, and cultural separations between the peoples of the world are still overwhelming.

In my culture, we live in, what I like to call, a "culture of affluence." This phrase came to me while I was reading Richard Stearns' The Hole in Our Gospel. I realized that the chasm that separated me from the poor was made up of more than just physical space. I live in a world characterized by wealth. The having of it, the attaining of it, and the spending of it are the chief preoccupations of myself and my world.

For a staggering number of people in my "global village," 40-50 percent of the world, the chief preoccupation is survival. The difference between wealth and survival is fundamental, they are as different as mud cookies and tiramisu. As I tried to understand the difference, I realized that I had built up some kind of fantasy about what life was like for one of the children for whom I claim to be an advocate. My wealth and culture create such a wide buffer that their lives did not even exist in the "real" world: my world.

For some reason, the subject of clean water was what drove this truth home for me. I had heard the statistic that 1 in 6 people do not have access to clean water before, but still, this did not have meaning for me until I understood the implications. Water is central to life on this planet; we can go for weeks without food but we would only last a few days without water. Survival aside, when I think of how much water I use in a single day I am staggered. Have you ever let the tap run for 15 seconds or more simply waiting for it to heat up? That water is literally down the drain, what if you had walked miles to haul that water?

Not having a well or plumbing means that this morning, before the work and school day begin, the mother and children in a family have had to to haul enough water to do the day's washing and cooking or they would not have water that day. This means walking miles in some cases. This is not Little House on the Prairie, this is January 18th 2011. Before I even woke up this morning, children, sometimes as young as 5, have been hauling buckets of water. Have you ever hauled water? Have you ever hauled water in the predawn chill? For hours? Have you ever tried to go to school afterward? Have you ever spent hours hauling dirty, parasite-infested water in the predawn chill?

No. No, of course you haven't, neither have I. This is why there is a chasm separating us from these people, our neighbors in this global village, that will keep their reality a fantasy unless we can find some way to bridge it. The travesty is that the people living this lifestyle are as numerous as we who are not, yet it is quite possible for those of us living in this culture of affluence to never even consider, let alone understand their situation. For many of us, they simply do not even exist.

Part of the problem is that we like our separation from the poor. Drawing near to such a desperate and obviously unacceptable cultural reality, while we labor over whether to buy the ATV or save the money for Disneyland, is very uncomfortable. When we encounter poverty we also have to deal with guilt and responsibility and I will be the first to admit that I don't like it. I prefer telling others to help the poor. Bringing the responsibility for the situation of the desperate poor into our own house pollutes our way of life and makes it impossible for us to live in the same way we always have, the voice of justice in our hearts requires us to do something about it. Again, I'll admit it's easier to keep the injustices toward the poor a fantasy.

Yet this disparity is more than ethically wrong, it is dangerous. Obviously it hurts the poor, but it also hurts those of us who are rich. We cannot be so widely separated from others and expect to remain unharmed by the divide. We cannot truly accept the humanity of people who are so completely different from us. If we are serious about this concept of global unity, we have to address this disparity and find a way, not as a culture, but as individuals, to narrow the gap. We have to find some way to make the reality for the rest of the world to impact our reality. The alternative is that half of the world will continue to not exist.

This is particularly significant for people like me who claim to care for this cause. If I cannot make the reality of the poor, people I claim to want to help, impact my life in a real way, then I am worse than a hypocrite. This is the next step of my journey to trust (and it is very specific to me): God is asking me how willing I am to experience the reality of poverty, if I am willing to separate myself from my culture of affluence in order to better love the rest of the world. This does not mean He is calling me to a life of poverty, but He is calling me to seek a living faith in Him, a life of freedom from money, and a life of true compassion.

Practically this means living "abnormally:" living simply, without the waste and excess that is unique to a culture of affluence. Because I love my lists, I've already started several lists of things to sacrifice on the altar of my works, things like my car, sleep, eating out, and other luxuries that 40 percent of the world does not have access to. While these things may become part of my reality I have to remind myself, and urge you as well, if you are also so inclined, that God is looking for the sacrifice of a changed heart before the outworking of a changed life. Please do not fall into the trap, as I so often do, of assuaging your conscience by heaping up good works. You will be disappointed and skip over the better part God has for you. Pray first, and then do.

However, do not be afraid of letting your faith have a practical outworking. Nothing brings richness and substance to prayer and faith like an outpouring of practical love and compassion. If the subject of clean water is of particular interest to you, you can access more information, including how you can be part of the solution, through Compassion International (via their partnership with Healing Waters International) or World Vision.

I also cannot end without the request to consider sponsoring a child. There is no easier and quicker way to make the reality for half world your reality than by inviting a living, breathing child into your life.



Next Post: A Curveball

Trust: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Last week I began a series of posts regarding my One Word for 2011: Trust. You can read more about it here.

Something momentus happened in my little community a few weeks ago. Someone won the Megamillions lottery, a $355 million jackpot that, when split between 2 people and Uncle Sam amounts to $78 million.

$78 Million!

Now whenever something like this happens, we always pretend that we're somehow glad that we don't have to deal with all of the negative things associated with winning the lottery. For my part, I looked up information on all of the lottery winners that went bankrupt, ended up in jail or some such horrible thing. One guy spent all his money on crack and another guy's brother hired a hit man to try and kill him!

But, much as we many deny wishing we had been the lucky ones, we still imagine what we would do with the money. I am a nerd so I made a spreadsheet. No I'm not joking. I made a spreadsheet budgeting my $78 million dollars. I was especially generous because, you know, I'm a Christian, so I only kept about $2 million for myself. I figured, "hey thats less than 3%," conveniently forgetting that its still two freaking million dollars!

The point here is not how generous I am (with money that I did not earn) but what it is truly costing me. I have no doubt that if I won that much money and gave 97% of it away I would be lauded as a hero but would God be pleased by my generosity?

There is a short story in 1st Chronicles in which the Lord directs David to buy a threshing floor upon which to build an alter. The owner offers to give to David, the king, freely. David's response is incredibly wise:

But King David said or Ornan, "No, but I will buy them for the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, nor offer burn offerings that cost me nothing." 1 Chr 21:24

Would God be pleased by my generosity? Well maybe in someone else's case, but not in mine. I know this because, by my calculations, $2 million would have been enough money to do everything that I wanted to do and not have to worry about money for the rest of my life. It sounds reasonable doesn't it? As I dreamed about such a windfall in my life, I thought to myself, "Come on God, I don't want to be rich, I just want enough so I can do the work YOU have put in my heart and not have to worry about money," and then I heard it. The quietly patient and deeply convicting voice of God,

"Who said you had to worry about money right now?"

Aw, snap!

My 97% generosity, by human standards, amounted to $77 million, but my God is not concerned about how much I am giving but how much it is costing me. It isn't that God wants grand gestures or self-deprivation, he wants our trust. My sacrifice would not come at the cost of my self-dependence, and that's not enough for God. He wants everything, not because he's a sadist or arrogant, but because He wants to be our security; He wants to give us more.

Let me be clear here, if our anxiety is predicated on "having enough," then you and I are slaves. Jesus explains this on the Sermon on the Mount.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" Matthew 6:19-21, 24-25

Often we view the exhortation to "store up treasures in heaven," as yet another burdensome spiritual discipline that God has heaped upon an already overflowing plate. Please understand, this is not another empty exhortation to, haha, "not worry about money." Like you, I've heard that a dozen times before. No, this is a call to accept the freedom God offers. The freedom to live the life He has given us, free from the dictates of money.

This is the freedom that Paul talks about in Romans 8:15

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"

Later in Romans 8, Paul speaks of the afflictions he and his companions have suffered for the sake of the Church. Yet somehow, miraculously, he can say,

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:36

God's call is never a call to bondage but to freedom. He does not call us to take on a burden of poverty, but rather to operate in freedom from our circumstances, to recognize that there is more for us than simply having enough money to "not worry." Can't you hear Jesus imploring us,

"...is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?"

Jesus does indeed provide food for the sparrows and clothing for the flowers. He does want to meet our needs but He desires to be more to us then some kind of cosmic bread-winner. He offers us His own spirit, not a spirit of fear, of anxiety, or of slavery but the spirit of adoption in which we can cry out "Abba!" or "Dad!"

I know, I know, it sure would be a whole lot less scary to win the lottery. But that security can be taken away in a moment; you'll still be a slave, you'll just be a rich slave. Jesus offers us something more, something that cannot rust and cannot be stolen. He offers us true independence, true freedom from worry and fear.

Won't you learn to trust with me? Won't you be free with me?



Next Post: A Culture of Affluence

Trust: I'm Not THAT Person

Yesterday I gave a quick overview of a few haphazard elements which have combined in an odd way to create my One Word 2011: Trust. It was a bit much for one post, even for me, so I've broken it up into a series of sorts. I start today with the most difficult one.


I'm a girl who likes to have it together. I struggle to admit I'm wrong, I hate having to ask for help, and I confess my struggles only after they have been "overcome." When confronted by a situation that I cannot handle or a goal I cannot meet, I’ll fight my way back to a situation I can control. I abandon goals, I deny my ineffectiveness, and I make to-do lists.


I have had friends and loved ones struggle with depression and anxiety. Through their pain, I've learned a lot about the illogical and overwhelming nature of depression. But  I've never been "that" person. I will shamefully admit that I always thought I was too strong and too "together."


However, for a few months now, my joy has gone AWOL, replaced by cynicism, bitterness, and fear. I don’t know if you’d call it loneliness, malcontent, doubt, or depression, but I have not been okay, and I haven’t had it together.


I hope you will believe me when I say, God is my life. This is why it is so devastating to feel that He has gone far, far away. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “you will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”


Was I not seeking Him with all of my heart? Which part was I withholding?


“All of it,” was the crushing answer. “You seek My ends, but not My means. You seek My Name but not My Life. You love My thoughts but not My ways. You seek Me through the filter of your own abilities, on your own terms, in your own timing. You withhold all of your heart from Me because you only offer it conditionally. I am a God without conditions.”


With all of this still churning inside me, I spent New Year’s Day reading The Hole in Our Gospel, a book by Richard Stearns, the president of World Vision.


In his book, Richard Stearns references a passage in Isaiah where the frustrated children of Israel cry out to God they too felt had gone far, far away:

“They seek me daily and delight to know My ways, as if they were a nation that did righteousness and did not forsake the judgment of their God; They ask of me righteous judgments; they delight to draw near to God. ‘Why have we fasted, and you see it not? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?’ Isaiah 58:2-3


“…Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? Then…you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’ Isaiah 58:6-9

(You ever have one of those, “Ohhhhhh…” moments?)

If you poked around this blog at all, you might notice that I have made something of a hobby out of humanitarianism. In theory, I avidly support the humanitarian work of organizations like Compassion International and World Vision. I pray, I give money, I blog, and I tweet.

Yet because of how He’s designed me, this isn’t enough for me. I’ve known this for a while; if I’m honest, I’ve known this since I was 12. Since then, my faith has gotten jammed up somewhere between His words and my life. It has gotten clogged by my inability to make my faith “work” and my unwillingness to let God work through my faith in His ability, on His terms, in His time.

James 2:26 compares a faith without works to a body without a spirit, a zombie. I don’t intend to get into a faith/works conversation except to say that the one simply cannot exist independent of the other, it just dies.

I can’t help but wonder if, lately, God just hasn’t allowed me to feel the dead weight of my faith. I wonder if He’s letting me feel the pain of an unfulfilled calling and an empty gospel. I wonder if He’s letting me see the way He would have me to worship Him.

“Is this not the fast that I choose…?” He says. “…then you shall call and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say ‘Here I am.’” Isaiah 58:9

Next Post: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Trust: The Highlights

I took the first week of  Twenty'Leven off from blogging, and pretty much everything else, to really pray and seek the Lord on His plans for my life, specifically for this year. These prayers revolved around my One Word for 2011, "Trust." It really was a great fruitful time of prayer, but I am struggling to distill this all down to something meaningful that I can share.

Last year, 2010, my One Word was "Unshakable" and 2010 was a year that truly was shaken so that only those things which were unshakable remained (Hebrews 12:24-29). I compared myself to a bare concrete foundation This year, God has made it fairly clear that He doesn't want me to build on that foundation; He is going to be the Builder.

Thus, this year I have two verses guiding my One Word:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it..." Psalm 127:1

Now to the awkward summary of the past week.

Over the past 2 weeks, several things have happened of varying degree of importance:

• God gave my my One Word for the year
• God broke down my expectations for the next 5 years.
• I read the Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns (which, sadly, has been sitting on my bookshelf for over a year)
• I began fighting my way out of a 2 month long period of what some people would call "depression", some would call "Seasonal Affective Disorder", and some would "spiritual warfare," but what I choose call "a funk."
• Someone from my sleepy little town won over 70 million dollars
• I discovered that I am not going to Switzerland for the summer (I know, you didn't even know I was going! Well, I'm not so...)

So, how then do all these things fit together? In many, many words. There are so many words, in fact, that I have a suspicion that they are mine and not God's so I am going to spare you the long version and give you another bullet list of the "takeaways" from the past few weeks.

• I don't trust God
• I've created a false image of God
• I am afraid of not having money
• I worship God with my writing
• I must write to worship God
• I live in a "Culture of Affluence"
• I love music
• I love kids
• I am going to Haiti

Instead of sharing with you the path to all of these conclusions right now, I'm going to give it to you in pieces. This is partly because I'm embarrassed by how long the post would be otherwise, and partly because God is still working it all out.

So there you go, the highlights of a simultaneously confusing and enlightening few weeks. Looking forward to sharing it all with you



Next Post: I'm Not THAT Person

One Word 2011: Edit Edit Edit!

I am so excited so many are involved in One Word 2011. I am loving hearing your words, its very exciting. To address the single most common question:  

Yes, you must choose only ONE word and, no, it can't be a phrase, paragraph, or essay. Hyphens are questionable...

I do not mean to make the process unnecessarily difficult or to be exclusive, but having too detailed a theme for the year does not really fit with the purpose of the One Word idea. I know how difficult this is, trust me; there is no shortage of superfluous wordage in the Sarah-camp. Dan Britton relates his own struggle this way:

After my speech, Steve responded, “That’s great Dan, but take all that and boil it down into a one-word theme for the year.” After contemplating even longer than the first time, I responded with the theme “Live it Out.” This was better than the first time, but Steve challenged me again, saying, “Dan, that is still not one word.” As he pushed me, I grew aggravated with my own inability to sum it up into a single word. It was too hard to take all of my lofty goals, my massive game plan for the year and those dramatic life-changes and wrap them up so tightly...

So, Steve asked me again what my word would be. I said that I needed to really pray through it and that I would get back to him. Several weeks later, after much prayer and thought, I called Steve and told him my word for the year would be “Intimacy.” I desired to have greater intimacy with God. And that was the start of an incredible year in which the Lord taught me and showed me how I needed to have deeper level of intimacy in every area of my life. I can’t even begin to explain the full extent of how the Lord weaved intimacy into my life that year. 

See, when we make things really specific, we are essentially dictating to God what He is allowed to do. We get to set the terms. The reason the One Word idea is different from making New Year's resolutions is that YOU make a resolution, YOU choose how it is going to play out in your life,  and YOU receive the credit for accomplishing it. By limiting it to a single word, you are forced to leave the door open for Him. When HE gives you a word and HE chooses how it is going to play out in your life, then HE, likewise, receives the glory for it. Resist the temptation to put limitations on what He can do, I promise you won't regret it.

If you're struggling to limit it to a word, don't be discouraged or frustrated. There are no time limits here. It may be that, in some ways, you are not willing to surrender control to God or accept, however blindly, what HE has planned for you. Give yourself time to work through that, give yourself time to be honest before God and really hear from Him.This has the added benefit of forcing us to really pray and seek him which is sort of the point.

Humorously, my word for 2011 is "Trust" so obviously I have something to learn in this area. I shudder to think of what its going to take to experience real trust during 2011, but I'm excited for it. Already God is breaking down my expectations and surprising me. I'm excited to share that with you.

But not today...

Have a great weekend!
--Sarah Elizabeth

One Word 2011: Trust

Happy New Year!

New Year's 2010, instead of making resolutions, I started choosing a single word for the year. I first read about this practice on Compassion International's blog, through an article written by Dan Britton. You can read his article on my last One Word post here. If you'd still like to adopt this practice yourself, it's not too late!

Last year, my One Word was "unshakable." I chose this word with Hebrews 12:27-29 specifically in mind:

Now this, "Yet once more," indicates the removal of those things that are being shaken, as of things that are made, that the things which cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire."

The promise of "receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken," is a bittersweet one for, as we see in verses 26 & 27, it comes on the heels of a promise that God will "shake not only the earth, but also heaven," and that this promise "indicates the removal of the things that are made." The promise of an unshakable kingdom comes at the cost of the destruction of everything else.

When I was praying over this word, God asked me over and over again,

"Will you let me shake your world so I can give you an unshakable kingdom?"

I decided, a bit cavalierly, I admit, that the answer was yes. So He did. Immediately, although so subtly that I missed the connection, He began to shake the foundation upon which I had built my life. My assumptions about myself, my understanding of God and His Word, the plans I had made for my life, my understanding of justification and grace, and the layers upon layers of soil that I had piled upon the wounds of my past, God shook them all down to the bare earth and then He began to dig through the very dirt. All the while, He kept asking me,

"Will you let me shake your world so I can give you an unshakable kingdom?" 

I admit I have not weathered the process with dignity and grace. I have stumbled and wandered, pathetically snatching at the things falling around me, and cried out angrily at God. I even pridefully denied the quaking world around me, trying desperately to prove that I had not built my world upon temporary "shakable" things.

You see, I've staked my entire Christian identity on the assumption that I built my "house" upon the Rock of Jesus. As God's tremors shook up my world, things began to fall over, things that I had thought were eternal but which, I soon discovered, were those things that were "made" as it says in verse 27. What does that say about my witness? What does that say about me?

It is heartbreaking to watch the things you have built turn into rubble, it is even more heartbreaking when those things are your very self. But,

"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." Psalm 127:1

The ultimate result is that I arrive here, on the first day of the 2011th year of our Lord, as a bare concrete slab surrounded by the wreckage that was my "self" on the first day of the 2010th. It is difficult to toss the rubbish away, I keep trying to salvage some of it to reconstruct my house, but it isn't the same. And honestly, I don't want it to be. 2010 Was not a very uplifting year for me, it was intensely humbling, but I wouldn't change it.

So, my One Word for 2011 is very much related to 2010:

Trust 

As I prayed over this word, I heard God, again, asking me,

"Will you trust me? Will you trust me to rebuild your world as I would have it to be? Will you trust me to rebuild you?"

But I've learned from One Word 2010 and there will be no cavalier claims of faith and fearlessness this time. I can tell you honestly that the answer is, "no." No, I don't trust Him, I'm scared to death of what He'll build for me. I'm afraid that He's taken all my plans and dreams away and won't give them back. I'm afraid that He'll take me down a rocky, treacherous road and stand by as I stumble and fall. No, I don't trust Him, in truth, I'm terrified of Him. Oh, but I'd like to...

So, here's to trust. Here's to fearlessness. Here's hoping.

Cheers.

--Sarah Elizabeth

One Word 2011

Last year I posted this article by Dan Britton that explains a simple practice of choosing a single word for the year, I find it a nice alternative to the New Year's Resolution which, as we all know, has a three week shelf-life. Last year my word was "unshakeable" it has been an interesting experience! I am excited to reflect a bit on that word and share my musin's with you. Until then, enjoy the article and do some reflecting of your own.

I would highly encourage you to follow the simple directions at the end and see if the Lord has a word for you for 2011. If you do, I'd love to hear it!

One Word

Pick a word for the year...but be careful!

-Dan Britton

Seven years ago, I started the simple discipline of picking a one-word theme for the upcoming year. That is right—one word. Not a phrase, not a statement, just a single word. And to this point, it has been nothing short of life-changing.


If you are like me, you have done your fair share of goal-setting at the start of each New Year. As time goes by, you begin to feel guilty as you fall short in your ambitious plans. At one point, I was so frustrated with the whole process that I even tried boycotting the whole idea and avoided setting any goals at all. That didn't work either. It just made me feel guilty about being the slacker who didn't set any goals. In both cases, I always wound up feeling defeated.

Obviously, everyone wants to find the secret to succeeding in their resolutions. There are a tremendous number of new books and articles written each year about "better" and "easier" ways. I have even heard some great sermons regarding how to set goals for a prosperous New Year.

Despite all of the hype, I still love the fact that the New Year can be a great way to wipe the slate clean and start all over again. The phrase, "a new lease on life" certainly can apply. We are free to lose that 10 pounds, commit to daily devotions, pray more faithfully, spend more time with family, pay off the credit cards or even share Christ with our neighbors. The list can go on and on. But the reality is that those long lists of New Year's resolutions rarely became a reality.

For me, this one-word exercise, in its simplicity, has become a focal point throughout the year. It helps bring clarity into a very complex world. The discipline of picking a one-word theme has stretched me in all areas—spiritually, physically and emotionally. God has transformed me in many ways through this exercise, and I promise that through it God can bring truth and revelation into your life, as well.

In the movie City Slickers, there is a scene that reveals the value and magnitude of “one thing.” Billy Crystal plays Mitch, a vacationing businessman who, along with two friends, takes on the adventure of a cattle drive. In the middle of the drive, a rough-necked cowhand named Curly tells Mitch that the secret to life is just one thing. Curly emphasis the point by holding one finger up and says, “You need to stick to that one thing.” Mitch asks, “What is that one thing?” Curly responds back, “That is what you gotta figure out!”

Curly is not a Bible scholar, but he does recognize the power of the one thing. Even though the Bible does not have the phrase “one-word theme,” it is incredible how many verses include the phrase “one thing.” In Philippians 3:13-14, Paul writes, “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Paul uses the phrase “one thing” to bring focus and clarity to his calling. Altogether, the phrase “one thing” appears five times in the Bible—once in Philippians and four times in the Gospels. In Luke 10:42 Jesus says to Martha, “only one thing is needed.” Both Luke 18:22 and Mark 10:21 include His words to the rich man and expresses a lack of “one thing.” John 9:25 also includes the phrase as the blind man tells the Pharisees, “One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!” In the same way that Scripture uses these words, God desires for us to strip it all away and ask Him, “What is Your will for my one-word theme this year?”

I wish I could take credit for developing this simple discipline. However, I have to give credit where credit is due. Five years ago, my good friend Steve Fitzhugh and I were traveling to Ocean City, Maryland, to speak at a youth retreat. On this cold, December car drive, Steve asked me what my theme for the upcoming year would be. After taking several minutes to think about all that I wanted to accomplish, I responded with a long description of my hopes and ambitions for the New Year. He listened patiently as I shared an inspiring mini-sermon of all the changes that would take place in my personal, family and ministry life.

After my speech, Steve responded, “That’s great Dan, but take all that and boil it down into a one-word theme for the year.” After contemplating even longer than the first time, I responded with the theme “Live it Out.” This was better than the first time, but Steve challenged me again, saying, “Dan, that is still not one word.” As he pushed me, I grew aggravated with my own inability to sum it up into a single word. It was too hard to take all of my lofty goals, my massive game plan for the year and those dramatic life-changes and wrap them up so tightly. Finally I decided to flip the table by asking Steve what his one-word theme would be for the coming year. Without hesitation, he responded, “Harvest.” He explained how he wanted to see God work in such a dynamic way in and through him that there would be a great harvest produced from his personal life, his marriage, his family and his speaking ministry. As a former NFL player, Steve uses that platform to speak to and teach more than 100,000 youth every year. But he desired to see God do even greater things with his life! He wanted to see a “Harvest.” Wow! I was amazed that one word had so much power.

So, Steve asked me again what my word would be. I said that I needed to really pray through it and that I would get back to him. Several weeks later, after much prayer and thought, I called Steve and told him my word for the year would be “Intimacy.” I desired to have greater intimacy with God. And that was the start of an incredible year in which the Lord taught me and showed me how I needed to have deeper level of intimacy in every area of my life. I can’t even begin to explain the full extent of how the Lord weaved intimacy into my life that year. The thread of intimacy was revealed to me in my devotional life, through sermons, in Scripture, during prayer times and in conversations. Every time I turned around, intimacy was there! God used that one word to impact me for an entire 365 days. Every day, He was weaving it into my life. It was a powerful year of dynamic growth.

When the year began, I only had a desire to increase my intimacy with the Lord. But He had different plans. Slowly He began to show me that He wanted me to have greater intimacy with my wife, my family and me friends. In every role I had (father, husband, friend, leader, athlete), God wanted to transform me and take me to a deeper level. But the most significant way intimacy was revealed to me was through people and life situations. That was very difficult, as intimacy is typically something I’d rather learn from God, not God’s people! When He started using friends and enemies to teach me about intimacy, I was reluctant to embrace it. But that apprehension didn’t matter. God still got my attention and showed me all the gaps and areas in which I needed to change, both through lessons from others and through lessons revealed specifically through His Word and His Spirit.

Since that year, I have learned more about myself and, more importantly, more about Jesus as a result of picking a one-word theme for the year. Developing this theme has now become a staple in my life, a non-negotiable. After experimenting with it the first year and not sharing the concept with anyone (I wanted to make sure that I practiced it and experienced it before I shared it with others), I now have passed it on to thousands of people. I am continually amazed how someone will call, e-mail or write me at the end of a year to let me know how this simple process had transformed his or her life in the past 12 months. Each year, I challenge my Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) staff to go through the exercise. In fact, just today, a former staff member e-mailed me to let me know about his new word: “disciplines.” He said he was excited and was already reading a great Christian classic on spiritual disciplines to get him prepared for the New Year.

Let me stop here for a moment. There is a reason why I say, “Pick one word for the year…but be careful.” The “careful” part is serious. You know the phrase, “Be careful what you pray for”? Like when you pray for patience and all you get is trails, problems and situations in which you need to practice patience? Well, the same goes for this. I guarantee you that as soon as you pick the word, the battle will begin. Do not approach this exercise half-heartedly. You will get hammered, I promise. Satan will come after you full-force. I’m not trying to sensationalize it, but you have to be aware of this before you dive in. This exercise is not for people who want to pick a nice, comfortable word that will have no significant impact on their lives. It truly is a discipline for those who want to press in and see God do great things in and through them. It is for those who want to live life to its fullest. No retreat. No regrets. It will also be a process of teaching, correcting and molding, as God will certainly bring you to a point of brokenness in relation to your word. But when you are soft in the Creator’s hands, He can form you into His vessel!

In beginning the process, half of the fun is choosing the word for the year. But I have learned that it is not necessarily me who chooses the word, but rather God who reveals it to me. God can, indeed, drop an anointed, specific word into your soul. I’ll admit that in my first year when I chose to pursue intimacy, it was 99% me picking the word and 1% God speaking. Even so, God still used it! But as I become more experienced as the process, I have learned to really listen and watch for God’s leading in selecting the word. Now, I truly can say that it is not about me, but about God. I don’t pick, He shows me. And once He shows me the word, I just have to be obedient and respond with, “Yes, Lord.”

Many people try to approach the one-word theme as just another goal, but this is not a question of whether or not you will “win” at your one-word theme for the year. Your goal should be to live out the adventure God has for you and to learn from the lessons along the way. It is simply a matter of yoking with the Savior. You can’t look at it as a task item on your to do list. You must see it, rather, as a journey—a great journey of victories and defeats, all of which are brought to and laid at the feet of the Christ.

Another word of caution. Once you have used a word, you can’t repeat it the following year. I had a friend say to me that since he felt like he had failed during the year in learning everything there was to learn from his word, he was going to recycle the same word for the New Year. This shouldn’t be an option. In any year, there are 365 days for the Lord to work. Believe me, if it didn’t happen during that time, there is a good chance that either you missed how He was working or He is showing you that there needs to be greater maturity in your life before taking that word any deeper. I know that those are hard words, but they may be true!

It has been my experience that God quickly reveals His plans for the year regarding a one-word theme. That word (be it a discipline, fruit of the Spirit, character trait, attribute of God or even a person) will brand you for life! Be careful with your word. It will brand you for life! And once you’re finished, be sure to share your experience with others—your spouse, children, friends, staff and church members. You’ll be blessed as you watch them adopt and grow in their own one-word themes for the year.

Steps to developing a one-word theme:

1. Prepare your heart through prayer and fasting.

Spend much time in prayer and ask God to reveal the one word to you. Remember, it is not you who chooses the word, but God who reveals to you what He wants to teach you in the coming year. Spend extended time not only in prayer, but also fasting. Through fasting, God will increase and heighten your reliance upon Him for the word. He will speak specifically and clearly into your heart. At a minimum, I recommend getting away for one full day and spending time before the Lord. That invested time will pay big dividends. God will speak when you consecrate yourself and intentionally put yourself into a posture to hear from Him.

2. Search the Scriptures.

While reading your Bible, ask the Lord to highlight or bring to your attention a verse or story. This provides great insight and will help you ground your word in the Word. Commit that verse or passage to memory.

3. Evaluate all of your roles.

Each of us plays many different roles in our lives (i.e. parent, spouse, leader, athlete, friend, volunteer, steward, etc.) As you pray and think through those roles, pay attention to what God shows you. This step will help you understand the lives you impact and those that impact you. What is it that God wants to take hold of in your life and use for His glory? What area of your life do you need to surrender? What character trait does God want to develop within you? Which fruit of the Spirit does He want you to live out? These are several primer questions that can get you going in the right direction.

4. Do not seek counsel from others.

While seeking advice from godly counsel regarding issues or problems is essential, I would highly recommend not asking for word ideas from friends, spouses or accountability partners. Everyone will give you an opinion, but you aren’t seeking their opinions. You’re not even seeking your own opinion. You’re seeking God’s opinion.

5. Ask God for the word.

This is where the rubber meets the road. Boldly ask God for the word. Just as Samuel said, “Speak, Lord, your servant is listening,” you need to humble yourself and ask God to drop the word into your heart, mind and soul. Be open and willing. The word can be a fruit of the Spirit (kindness, faithfulness), attribute of God (holiness, mercy), discipline (prayer, memorization), person (spouse, child), biblical principle (harvest, stewardship), spiritual focus (devotion, intimacy), character trait (commitment, perseverance), values (integrity, teamwork) or characteristic of Christ (serving, humility). This is not meant to be list from which to choose, but rather a starting point to get you thinking and to help you as you begin to listen for the Lord’s prompting.

6. Share your word with a trusted person.

Once you have your word, it is important to share it with your husband or wife, best friend, accountability partner or pastor. Do not announce your word to everyone you know. One year, I didn’t share my word with anyone except for my wife and three accountability partners. Prayerfully consider with whom you need to share your word. Ask them to pray for you and to hold you accountable so that God can do His work in you.

7. Live out your word.

As you begin to live out your word on a daily basis, be sensitive to the Lord’s leading. Be open to learning more as He reveals Scripture, quotes and books for you to use. Keep a journal and write down the insights and lessons throughout the year. Evaluate your commitment on a regular basis, and make sure that you pray about what God wants you to learn.

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So there you have it! What's your word for 2011 (and please don't choose "thinner"!)?