Thursday, January 13, 2011

Trust: The Highlights

I took the first week of  Twenty'Leven off from blogging, and pretty much everything else, to really pray and seek the Lord on His plans for my life, specifically for this year. These prayers revolved around my One Word for 2011, "Trust." It really was a great fruitful time of prayer, but I am struggling to distill this all down to something meaningful that I can share.

Last year, 2010, my One Word was "Unshakable" and 2010 was a year that truly was shaken so that only those things which were unshakable remained (Hebrews 12:24-29). I compared myself to a bare concrete foundation This year, God has made it fairly clear that He doesn't want me to build on that foundation; He is going to be the Builder.

Thus, this year I have two verses guiding my One Word:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it..." Psalm 127:1
Now to the awkward summary of the past week.

Over the past 2 weeks, several things have happened of varying degree of importance:
  • God gave my my One Word for the year
  • God broke down my expectations for the next 5 years.
  • I read the Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns (which, sadly, has been sitting on my bookshelf for over a year)
  • I began fighting my way out of a 2 month long period of what some people would call "depression", some would call "Seasonal Affective Disorder", and some would "spiritual warfare," but what I choose call "a funk."
  • Someone from my sleepy little town won over 70 million dollars
  • I discovered that I am not going to Switzerland for the summer (I know, you didn't even know I was going! Well, I'm not so...)
So, how then do all these things fit together? In many, many words. There are so many words, in fact, that I have a suspicion that they are mine and not God's so I am going to spare you the long version and give you another bullet list of the "takeaways" from the past few weeks.
  • I don't trust God
  • I've created a false image of God
  • I am afraid of not having money
  • I worship God with my writing
  • I must write to worship God
  • I live in a "Culture of Affluence"
  • I love music
  • I love kids
  • I am going to Haiti
Instead of sharing with you the path to all of these conclusions right now, I'm going to give it to you in pieces. This is partly because I'm embarrassed by how long the post would be otherwise, and partly because God is still working it all out.

So there you go, the highlights of a simultaneously confusing and enlightening few weeks. Looking forward to sharing it all with you

Next Post: I'm Not THAT Person

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