"One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD..."This. One. Thing.
Dwell and gaze, somewhat static verbs that weirdly remind me of the awkward "meadow" scene in Twilight. I am very irritated that my brain decided to make that connection, because it seems to taint the beauty of this passage somehow. Nevertheless, as stupid and unlikely as that interaction was, I can't help but think, maybe there's something to the comparison.
**SIDE NOTE: If you have no idea what that scene entails, please don't go out and rent the movie. I can't be responsible for putting that garbage into your head. Basically a girl and guy, who are obsessed with one another in typical teenage fashion, lay in a field of daisies gazing intently into one another's eyes for an obscene amount of time. It happens that this guy is supernaturally beautiful, mysterious and dangerous (even "godlike," according to Mrs. Meyer), which is supposed to make the moment less awkward, but it doesn't.
I say this because that scene would have made much more sense had it included the guy who formed me out of nothing; the one who programmed my brain and wrote my story. The one who points me out in a crowd and says, "You! I think you are amazing, beautiful and delightful."
That's a guy I could lay with for hours, just dwelling and gazing.
And I forget about this, I forget to do it. I'm not talking about devotional time or even a worship service. I'm talking about driving up the hill on the outskirts of town, sitting on the hood of my car and watching the sun set over my tiny little world. I'm talking about sitting still and doing nothing but knowing that God is God.
I'm not a still person. If I have a problem then the last thing I want to do is sit still or pray, I want to fix it. If I can't do something, then I am consumed with anxiety. And to be fair, sitting still or even praying doesn't fix my situation.
No, stop it, it doesn't! Prayer doesn't magically change your situation, and if God or chance has you headed down a particular path, no amount of praying or "speaking-against" something is going to change it. It's just not.
Before you start throwing scripture at me, let me explain. Prayer, dwelling, gazing, being still; these things may not fix my situation, but they fix me.
This is so very key, because situations, activities and tasks really aren't the point. Not of my life and certainly not of God's kingdom. People are the point. As far as God is concerned, I am the point. So those laying-in-a-field-of-daisies moments are the closest I can come to perfection on this side of heaven.
It's a ridiculous romance, the kind you don't really buy into at the movies (or maybe that's just me), but its true. God made me simply because he wanted to know me. Life requires certain activities: meeting physical needs, maintaining human relationships, building a safe and balanced society, but my very existence hinges on the truth that God simply wants to know me.
Knowing this may not fix the broken situation I am in or really make my life any easier, but it certainly makes me happier to be alive.
So take 15 minutes or 3 hours today to simply dwell and gaze.