Thursday, March 31, 2011

Christian Concerts

I went to a Christian concert last night.

May I just take a moment and tell you how much I love going to Christian concerts? We might not be passing around the doobies or have wet t-shirt contests (what?), but Christian concerts are awesome.

I actually came up with five solid reasons that Christian concerts are cooler than secular concerts.


Often in a church and most scary people don't like going into churches (which is a whole other issue itself). If they are in a church, the seats are almost always padded and you can get ridiculously close to the stage which makes throwing your hat onto the stage in the hopes that tobyMac is going to wear it for the rest of the night much easier. That is, if tobyMac still played in churches...


There are always at least five moms there ready to shut down the mosh pit if it gets a little too rowdy. I cannot tell you how many times someone has come on stage and said, "Okay guys I know you're all just having fun but a 12 year old girl just got punched in the face. Let's tone it down."


They are usually raising money for some great cause and that just feels good. Last night they were selling water bottles for $1 (which is a deal you could only get in a church) to benefit the women of Africa. All of them, apparently. If you're really lucky, the artist performing will be giving away a copy of one of their less-popular albums if you donate.


You always have a couple of vanloads of youth group kids. Where you have youth groupers you have dorky clapping patterns, chanting, and a general increase in innocent frivolity. Teenagers, if you can get past them waving their cell phones during a worship song and the huge white-boy afro in front of you, make everything a little funner. Plus teenagers think I'm cool and I like that. 

People, in general are nice.

Now we all know that there are plenty of people who are really kind and considerate who aren't Christians and many more Christians who are not always kind. BUT, to be fair, most Trekkies behave fairly normally in everyday life, but if I go to a Trekkie conference (or whatever they're called, Trekfest?), I expect to hear some Klingon. When you get us all together at a Christian event, you have to have a mop on hand to clean up the oozing niceness.

(I met a sweet girl in the bathroom who complimented me on my hair.)

Case in point: last night the adorably uncomfortable little lady who owns the Christian bookstore, while trying to emcee the concert via note cards (that might be number 4.5), interrupted the crown warmer's act to let everyone know that a couple of Youth Groups had just arrived so we all had to, wait for it, "scootch in" to make room for them. And everyone did!

The nice man playing a christianized cover of "Wonderwall" (ooh that might be number 4.75) didn't even complain.
Christians can be so nice sometimes. Just don't rip on Michael W Smith or write a book vaguely insinuating that there is no hell.

We will destroy you.


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